IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What effects will this have on society?

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Firstly
Linking Words
, in
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 after finishing justice from prison, many people
doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
show examples
repentance
Replace the word
repent
show examples
 their sin.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
describing
Change the verb form
describe
be describing
show examples
 some problems that could
effecting
Verb problem
affect
show examples
this
Linking Words
 condition
such
Linking Words
 as the failure of
justice
Add an article
the justice
show examples
 system in
jail
Use synonyms
, the failure
of predicting
Change preposition
to predict
show examples
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 range in prison depending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
crimes
Use synonyms
 and the
probablity
Correct your spelling
probability
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 disadvantages that
society
Use synonyms
 would get.
Due to
Linking Words
repetition
Add a comma
repetition,
show examples
 the
wrong doing
Correct your spelling
wrongdoing
show examples
 of
crimes
Use synonyms
 made a gap from the vision of
jail
Use synonyms
 that holding people
on limit
Change preposition
in limited
show examples
 place for some range of
time
Use synonyms
 to make
society
Use synonyms
 always in peace.
For example
Linking Words
, some
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wrong doing
Correct your spelling
wrongdoing
show examples
 must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
kill the
crimes
Use synonyms
 to
escaping
Wrong verb form
escape
show examples
 the danger for
society
Use synonyms
. The main idea of
jail
Use synonyms
 is keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 peace. For that
reason
Use synonyms
,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a waste thing if
jail
Use synonyms
 doesn’t repentance
crimes
Use synonyms
. The
reason
Use synonyms
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the failure in
Use synonyms
jail
Correct article usage
the jail
show examples
 system must be
instivigated
Correct your spelling
instigated
. To cite the example, activity in
jail
Use synonyms
 must be
organize
Wrong verb form
organised
show examples
 to make
crimes
Use synonyms
 have repentance. They must really
knowing
Change the verb form
know
be knowing
show examples
 the effect of their
wrong doing
Correct your spelling
wrongdoing
show examples
 and the
reason
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their act. Self-awareness of
crimes
Use synonyms
 must
being
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 developed with proper for
crimes
Use synonyms
. The other
reason
Use synonyms
 might be the range of
time
Use synonyms
 that developing
system
Correct article usage
the system
show examples
 is not enough.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the justice must really
understood
Change the verb form
be understood
understand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
jail
Use synonyms
 curriculum that must
crimes
Use synonyms
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, the
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
jail
Correct article usage
a jail
show examples
 curriculum for
crimes
Use synonyms
 must
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 a study
concerning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to reach the main goal of law :
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in peace.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure, with appropriate paragraphs and clear logical sequence, which makes it difficult to follow the argument. Consider using a more standard essay format, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, where each paragraph discusses a specific point or idea.
coherence cohesion
Language use is quite disorganized and repetitive, which significantly hinders the logical flow of information. Aim to use a variety of sentence structures and cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat incomplete and unclear. The essay does not address the causes and effects on society in a clear and comprehensive manner. It is important to directly address all parts of the prompt, providing clear ideas and relevant examples to support your points.
task achievement
The use of specific examples to support your points is lacking. Including relevant and specific examples can help to support your main points and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure you directly address both questions posed in the prompt: the causes of criminals reoffending and the effects this has on society. Each should be addressed in its own paragraph with clear explanations and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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