There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly believed by many that the level of personal income is the most essential factor among those leading mortals to keep working. The writer,
however
, remains unconvinced by Linking Words
this
school of thought since job satisfaction and a sense of appreciation are far more imperative components.
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Initially
, it must be acknowledged that humans will not make a huge dedication or devotion to occupations or careers that cannot satisfy themselves. To clarify, people have to work in their decided jobs for a living for their whole lives after having graduated from universities or institutes. Linking Words
For
Linking Words
this
reason, if they cannot identify any curiosities or passions that can be regarded as their meanings of life in their current jobs, they may change them frequently or even quit working. Specifically, Vietnam is a prime example of Linking Words
this
, where numerous young adults, especially those who are going to be blue-collar workers with future repetitive jobs, opt for not working to pursue personal interests Linking Words
such
as travelling abroad or attending Linking Words
further
education.
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Additionally
, the sense of appreciation must be taken into consideration when it comes to long-term occupations. Linking Words
Due to
the fact that by being respected by employers or headers, employees will definitely have a stronger belief in their abilities, Linking Words
thus
showing more outstanding initiatives and bringing more achievements to their corporations. Linking Words
Moreover
, should these individuals be believed by their counterparts or colleagues, they will have a sense of responsibility to instruct and guide others, thereby deciding to stay in the workforce for a course of time. Linking Words
For instance
, research conducted in the UK during 2000 showed that employers who were respectful towards their employees might have a more successful organization that survived for a longer period in the marketplace compared to those who did not.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
some emphasize the amount of salary paid to employees, satisfaction in working and respect are far more important to encourage them to stay longer in the workplace. It is, Linking Words
furthermore
, apparent that the more respected these human are, the more achievements they are likely to bring to their companies.Linking Words
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task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on your examples, making them more specific or detailed. This will make your arguments even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs for enhanced cohesiveness.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response with well-supported main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay, including the introduction and conclusion, is well-organized.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?