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Writing Samples
Band 3

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #facebook #twitter #contact #century #outweigh
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In
this
 century, social
media
 is becoming a primary
tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
tool
show examples
 for communication rather than to meet in person or
a
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at a
show examples
place . As stated, both Facebook and Twitter offer us a way to communicate from far away and open the possibility of reaching much larger audiences.
This
 is a big advantage, in my opinion. First of all, we still
be
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are
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 able to connect with people without concerning time and distance.
In other words
, even if someone
in
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is in
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 another country, we still can communicate with them without having to fly over, which saves our money and time. That's why social
media
 helps us a lot in a way to communicate practically.
Secondly
, social
media
 allows us to directly send and receive a message, so the other person can
also
 receive it
real-time
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in real-time
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.
For example
, if there is a natural
disasters
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disaster
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 or an accident, we can
got
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get
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 the words through social
media
 in no time and the awareness of authorities that can
helps
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help
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 right away.
Thus
, the presence of social
media
 provides us, as a society,
broader
Correct article usage
a broader
show examples
 and faster way of communication.
To conclude
, I absolutely believe that social
media
 bring more advantages and can replace face-to-face communication in certain ways, but it does not
necessarilly
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necessarily
 erase the essence of talking directly face-to-face. As long as we can get the point of the messages
straightly
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straight
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction/conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments made and restates your position.
paragraph structure
Provide clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to establish the main idea which should be followed by supporting sentences with concrete examples.
cohesive devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task response
Fully address both sides of the IELTS question. While you presented the advantages well, be sure to include a balanced discussion on the disadvantages to meet the task requirement.
specific examples
Include more specific examples and data to support your arguments, which will add depth and clarity to your essay.
logical progression
For coherence and cohesion, work on a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Transition smoothly from one idea to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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