Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#peoplebelieve #difference #jobs #tho

The

gap

between the lowest and highest-paid jobs has sparked debate, with some arguing that

this

disparity

should be reduced.

While

there are merits to both perspectives, I believe that narrowing the

wage

gap

offers significant social benefits, but it should not be done in a way that discourages innovation or ambition. A large

wage

gap

can contribute to social inequality and foster resentment among lower-paid workers, who may feel undervalued despite working hard.

This

inequality can lead to decreased social cohesion, as those at the bottom of the pay scale may struggle to access essential services like education and healthcare. By narrowing the income

disparity

, societies can promote fairness, allowing individuals to improve their living conditions and contribute more meaningfully to society.

Moreover

, reducing the

wage

gap

could increase workforce motivation and productivity. When employees feel they are fairly compensated for their efforts, they are more likely to be engaged and satisfied with their work.

For example

, countries with smaller income gaps,

for

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

those in Scandinavia, report higher levels of worker satisfaction and efficiency compared to nations with large disparities.

However

, some

wage

disparity

is necessary to reward those who take on highly skilled or demanding jobs,

such

as doctors or engineers. These roles often require years of education and specialized training, and reducing the potential earnings for

such

positions could disincentivize individuals from pursuing them.

Overall

while

reducing the

wage

gap

can improve social cohesion and worker motivation, it is crucial to maintain a level of

disparity

that rewards expertise and encourages professional advancement. A balanced approach is essential for sustaining economic growth and innovation.

Submitted by tahirascm11 on Wed Sep 11 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to further support your points. This can make your argument even stronger and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within it support that idea. Although the essay is already quite coherent, focusing on this could take it to an even higher level.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each section contributes to a cohesive argument.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt thoroughly, discussing both sides of the argument and offering a well-balanced response.

task achievement

You provided relevant and specific examples, particularly when mentioning countries with smaller income gaps like those in Scandinavia.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
equitable society
poverty levels
economic stimulation
social unrest
social cohesion
pay gap
solidarity
alienation
morale
productivity
higher education
challenging roles
innovation
growth
exorbitant salaries
fair compensation
essential services
balanced salary structure
adequately compensated
competitive edge
progressive taxation
redistribute wealth
public investment

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