In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In many countries, the
retirement
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age
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has been increased
due to
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rising life expectancy and economic demands.
While
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this
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policy has certain benefits,
such
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as sustaining the workforce and reducing financial pressure on pension systems, it
also
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presents challenges, particularly for older employees facing health issues.
This
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essay will argue that the advantages of raising the
retirement
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age
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outweigh the disadvantages, provided that adequate support measures are in place. One significant benefit of increasing the
retirement
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age
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is the economic sustainability it offers. As life expectancy continues to rise, governments are struggling to fund pension schemes. By extending the working years, individuals contribute to the economy for a longer period, reducing the financial burden on social security systems.
For instance
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, in Japan, where the
aging
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ageing
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population is growing rapidly, the government has gradually increased the
retirement
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age
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to ensure economic stability and prevent pension deficits.
Moreover
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, raising the
retirement
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age
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allows societies to retain experienced and skilled professionals. Many older workers possess valuable expertise that can be difficult to replace. In industries
such
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as healthcare and education, where experience is highly beneficial, prolonging careers can enhance productivity and knowledge transfer. A notable example is Germany, where policies encouraging older professionals to remain in the workforce have helped address
labor
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labour
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shortages in key sectors.
However
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, one cannot ignore the challenges associated with
this
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policy. Many jobs, especially those involving physical
labor
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labour
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, become increasingly difficult with
age
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. Workers in construction, manufacturing, or even healthcare may struggle to meet the physical demands of their roles as they grow older. To mitigate
this
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issue, governments should introduce flexible
retirement
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options and retraining programs to help older employees transition into less physically demanding positions. In conclusion,
while
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raising the
retirement
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age
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presents some challenges, the advantages, including economic stability and knowledge retention, outweigh the disadvantages.
However
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, to ensure fairness, policies should be tailored to accommodate individuals in physically demanding professions. With the right balance, an extended
retirement
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age
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can be beneficial for both individuals and society as a whole.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt clearly and argues that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which aligns well with the task requirements. However, you could strengthen your argument by explicitly stating any potential counterarguments and how they may be mitigated, further enhancing the depth of your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured with well-defined paragraphs, but transitions between points could be improved for greater fluidity. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to guide the reader. For example, phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Moreover' could help in the transition between contrasting ideas and enhancing overall coherence.
example use
You provide strong examples from Japan and Germany, which effectively illustrate your points about economic sustainability and retaining skilled professionals. This significantly enhances the credibility of your argument.
introduction clarity
Your introduction clearly outlines the essay's main argument and points, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • life expectancy
  • pension systems
  • financial pressure
  • economic growth
  • workforce
  • retirement savings
  • skills and knowledge transfer
  • job opportunities
  • health challenges
  • work-life balance
  • societal resistance
  • burnout
  • productivity
  • well-being
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