The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.

The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.
The charts compare the standard temperatures in
London
, New
York
and
Sydney
and the
hours
of sunshine in the same cities per
year
.
Overall
, New
York
is the sunniest destination, compared to the other two cities,
whereas
London
has less sunnier days.
However
,
Sydney
is the warmest at the start of the
year
as well as
at the end
of the period.
To begin
,
Sydney
includes 2473 annual shiny
hours
, reaching slightly above 25 degrees in January, representing the brightest city among the others. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
number has dropped in Jule (
slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
higher than 15), it went back to 25 in November and December. New
York
is the most golden location (2535 sunshine
hours
), starting from just about 5 degrees, but rising to 30 in July, illustrating the hottest period of time in a
year
.
On the other hand
,
London
has only 1180 bright
hours
yearly, achieving the maximum temperature of 24 to 25 in July and August. Despite the fact that
London
was the
grayest
Change the spelling
greyest
show examples
city, it is still sunnier than New
York
(5 degrees)
at the end
of the
year
, at just lower than 10.
Regadless
Correct your spelling
Regardless
New
York
is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the hottest city,
Sydney
is the best to visit in January,
Febrary
Correct your spelling
February
, March, November and December.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words london, york, sydney, hours, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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