. Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their home for work. Do you think, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons.

In the modern world,
work
Wrong verb form
whether working
show examples
from
home
is beneficial or not always
remained
Wrong verb form
remains
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
debatable issue among people.
As many
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
individuals agree that it has more benefits than drawbacks,
while
others reject the notion.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
my opinion,
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
are more in comparison to
its
Change the word
the
show examples
cons and the reasons will be explained in upcoming paragraphs.
Thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
my viewpoint and the most prominent one is that the use of digital devices helps to save time
as well as
energy
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans as they can
work
while
sitting at
home
.
For instance
, Computerised
work
such
as the task of accountants can be performed from
home
instead
of travelling to
work
location every day.
Moreover
, moving to
work
Correct article usage
a work
show examples
location leads to more traffic
along with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high pollution levels. Well, shifting to
work
from
home
is better for the betterment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society as it reduces the congestion on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, in the 2023 traffic
report
Add a comma
report,
show examples
the
India
Replace the word
Indian
show examples
government
havs
Correct your spelling
has
have
accepted the decrease in air pollution by 3%
Due to
online
work
facilitites
Correct your spelling
facilities
. Another reason to support my view is that
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
or feeling lonely because their parents have hectic schedules
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if they start
wok
Verb problem
working
show examples
from
home
then
they will be able to spend more time with and
this
will be of great help to reduce the distance
betweeen
Correct your spelling
between
the hearts of offsprings and their guardians. Needless to say, all these merits are instrumental indeed. On the flip side, there is always a certain proportion of the
poplution
Correct your spelling
population
pollution
in the office that not only needs guidance and support but
also
requires motivation at
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each point of their
work
.
Therefore
, if
such
community members start working
on-their-own
Correct your spelling
on their own
show examples
soon the company is going to face
recession
Correct article usage
a recession
show examples
and shareholders and stockholders are going to face
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
.
This
is something that happened in ABD
industries
Capitalize word
Industries
show examples
Dhuri
Change preposition
in Dhuri
show examples
, Punjab, in 2015.
This
was one of the biggest insurance
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the nation but as soon as the online
work
was started by
th
Correct your spelling
the
employees company faced
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
for
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
2 years and the firm
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely vanished from the market by the end of
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
year.
Hence
, it is apparent why many
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
are against
this
trend.
To conclude
,
according to
the reasons aforementioned above, one leads to a logical conclusion that
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
of online
work
are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
, its cons can not be ignored either.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In your essay, there are several instances where the logical structure is compromised due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This hinders the clarity of your argument. An effort should be made to construct sentences that flow naturally and contribute to a cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be enhanced by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your main points more effectively in the conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the conclusion echoes the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present in your essay; however, they are not clearly supported or developed. Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and provide evidence or examples that are directly related to your argument. This will strengthen the impact of your points and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task, and you present arguments for both sides. However, there is room for improvement in fully developing these ideas. Aim to present clear, comprehensive responses that thoroughly explore the implications and nuances of the topic.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are relevant, but they lack depth and comprehensiveness. To improve, ensure that each point you make is explored in detail and is directly related to the question prompt. This will help in providing a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
You did include examples in your essay, but some of them are unrealistic or overly specific without a clear connection to a broader context. Include examples that are realistic, relevant, and enhance your argument. This will strengthen your essay and provide a solid foundation for your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • drawbacks
  • flexibility
  • work schedule
  • elimination
  • commute
  • increased productivity
  • improved
  • work-life balance
  • cost savings
  • potential
  • distractions
  • social isolation
  • separating
  • supervision
  • limited
  • opportunities
  • career growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: