. Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their home for work. Do you think, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons.

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In the modern world,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
whether working
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from
home
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is beneficial or not always
remained
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remains
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as
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apply
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an
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a
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debatable issue among people.
As many
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Many
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individuals agree that it has more benefits than drawbacks,
while
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others reject the notion.
As per
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In
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my opinion,
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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are more in comparison to
its
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the
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cons and the reasons will be explained in upcoming paragraphs.
Thus
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, will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
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with
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with,
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my viewpoint and the most prominent one is that the use of digital devices helps to save time
as well as
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energy
of
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for
show examples
the
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apply
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humans as they can
work
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while
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sitting at
home
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.
For instance
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, Computerised
work
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such
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as the task of accountants can be performed from
home
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instead
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of travelling to
work
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location every day.
Moreover
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, moving to
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work
Correct article usage
a work
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location leads to more traffic
along with
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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high pollution levels. Well, shifting to
work
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from
home
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is better for the betterment of
the
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apply
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society as it reduces the congestion on
road
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the road
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. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, in the 2023 traffic
report
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report,
show examples
the
India
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Indian
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government
havs
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has
have
accepted the decrease in air pollution by 3%
Due to
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online
work
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facilitites
Correct your spelling
facilities
. Another reason to support my view is that
child
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children
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or feeling lonely because their parents have hectic schedules
as
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apply
show examples
if they start
wok
Verb problem
working
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from
home
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then
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they will be able to spend more time with and
this
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will be of great help to reduce the distance
betweeen
Correct your spelling
between
the hearts of offsprings and their guardians. Needless to say, all these merits are instrumental indeed. On the flip side, there is always a certain proportion of the
poplution
Correct your spelling
population
pollution
in the office that not only needs guidance and support but
also
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requires motivation at
the
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apply
show examples
each point of their
work
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.
Therefore
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, if
such
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community members start working
on-their-own
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on their own
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soon the company is going to face
recession
Correct article usage
a recession
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and shareholders and stockholders are going to face
loss
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losses
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.
This
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is something that happened in ABD
industries
Capitalize word
Industries
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Dhuri
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in Dhuri
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, Punjab, in 2015.
This
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was one of the biggest insurance
company
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companies
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of
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in
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the nation but as soon as the online
work
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was started by
th
Correct your spelling
the
employees company faced
loss
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losses
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for
following
Correct article usage
the following
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2 years and the firm
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely vanished from the market by the end of
third
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the third
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year.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many
person
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people
show examples
are against
this
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trend.
To conclude
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,
according to
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the reasons aforementioned above, one leads to a logical conclusion that
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
of online
work
Use synonyms
are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
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, its cons can not be ignored either.
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coherence cohesion
In your essay, there are several instances where the logical structure is compromised due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This hinders the clarity of your argument. An effort should be made to construct sentences that flow naturally and contribute to a cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be enhanced by clearly stating your thesis in the introduction and summarizing your main points more effectively in the conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the conclusion echoes the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present in your essay; however, they are not clearly supported or developed. Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and provide evidence or examples that are directly related to your argument. This will strengthen the impact of your points and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task, and you present arguments for both sides. However, there is room for improvement in fully developing these ideas. Aim to present clear, comprehensive responses that thoroughly explore the implications and nuances of the topic.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are relevant, but they lack depth and comprehensiveness. To improve, ensure that each point you make is explored in detail and is directly related to the question prompt. This will help in providing a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
You did include examples in your essay, but some of them are unrealistic or overly specific without a clear connection to a broader context. Include examples that are realistic, relevant, and enhance your argument. This will strengthen your essay and provide a solid foundation for your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • drawbacks
  • flexibility
  • work schedule
  • elimination
  • commute
  • increased productivity
  • improved
  • work-life balance
  • cost savings
  • potential
  • distractions
  • social isolation
  • separating
  • supervision
  • limited
  • opportunities
  • career growth
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