Goverments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. Do you agree or disagree?

#goverments #world #billions #support #space #programs #money #research #improvements #health

In modern life, governments

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

huge amounts of

money

to encourage

Correct article usage

the developing

show examples

developing

Replace the word

development

show examples

space

Change preposition

of space

show examples

programs

. Whilst some people think that

this

is a good idea, I prefer

Correct pronoun usage

it if

show examples

governments

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

spend it

into

Change preposition

show examples

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

developing human health. Because in my opinion,

these

Change the determiner

this money

show examples

money

could have been spent

into

Change preposition

show examples

more vital things. On the one hand,

space

programs

can bring us some great discoveries and improvements in technology.

And these

Correct word choice

These

show examples

innovations can solve some worldwide

concerning

Verb problem

apply

show examples

problems.

For example

, a company called "

spacex

Change the capitalization

Spacex

show examples

" right now planning to travel to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mars so

this

can solve overpopulation on Earth.

Moreover

, recently, scientists discovered that in

space

there is a planet which is very similar to our Earth and

good

Add a missing verb

has good

show examples

conditions to live

Change preposition

in.

show examples

On the other hand

, nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overpopulation is not a very big trouble and there are dozens of problems which have higher importance like human health. There are many diseases without proper treatment and we could solve

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

if we would spend

money

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

searching

possible

Change preposition

for possible

show examples

treatment

Fix the agreement mistake

treatments

show examples

rather than

into

Change preposition

apply

show examples

developing

space

programs

For instance

, right now, so many people are dying from diseases

such

as cancer or HIV and these kind of problems must be solved first before investing budget into

space

programs

. In conclusion, it would be better if

this

money

spent

Add a missing verb

was spent

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

improving human health rather than enhancing

space

programs

. So

that is

why I do not agree with

this

statement.

Submitted by aikumarbekarys on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, Task Achievement is limited as you have not fully developed your argument with sufficiently extended and supported ideas. Include a more thorough examination of the topic with relevant, detailed examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of your essay needs improvement. Ideas are somewhat organized, but there are instances where the argument may not flow naturally. Consider using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to better structure your essay and clarify the relationship between your ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Goverments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

People argue that children spend their leisure time differently than it was before, and the main reason fir this is new devises.

Too much emphasis is placed on going university for academic education. People should be encouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack of qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?