Some countries achieve international sports by building specialize facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Conquer the highest places in international business competitions is one of the desires of the majority of countries. Some people claim that constructing specialized apparatus for high-standard athletes is one of the strategies for the maintenance of top-list of international

sports

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events, not popularizing access to everyone. In my personal view,

this

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is a negative manner of impending everyone's experience in these venues. High-level furnishings provide ideal conditions for achieving high performance in international

sports

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events and

consequently

Linking Words

high-level results. We are aware that preparation for building Olympic athletes requires financial investments in compounding multi-professional specialists with expertise in planning long-term

sports

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accomplishments. American male swimmers

such

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as Michael Phelps, a major example of how is important to have all the top apparatus since the beginning of competing history, can provide incredible results in a long-term plan Opening the entrance to these top

sports

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training facilities for all who wish to practice

sports

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can be considered the first stage for many current social and health problems. I entirely support the idea of high-level standards regarding training conditions

nevertheless

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having a habit of

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

sports

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can prevent not only cardiovascular, endocrine, and mental illnesses but social demands as well.

For instance

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, I can mention the Brazilian gymnastic Olympic gold medal athlete who started her training when she was five years old and since

then

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she has dealt with discipline, respect, focus, and psychological support that contributed to her confidence and self-esteem. Two aspects that are diminishing among infants, and youths causing all sorts of mental health issues.

To conclude

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I believe that

sports

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play a massive role in the lifespan of a human being. So I support the idea of investment in building high

sports

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facilities democratizing access to everyone who desires to practice

sports

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as its benefits surpass any reversals that may exist in

this

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process.

jamilavalenteMon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follow logically from one point to the next.

task achievement

Consider revising the introduction to more clearly state your position on the topic and to provide a brief overview of the points you will discuss.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, discussing both views along with your opinion.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is solid, with clear points made in each paragraph.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

specialised facilities
train top athletes
international sports
boost
reputation
attract
sporting events
access
general public
inequality
opportunities
overemphasis
elite sports
neglect
grassroots development

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