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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below give information about level of education in Glasgow,a city in Scotland, in 2010.

The chart below give information about level of education in Glasgow,a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #level #education #glasgow #city #scotland
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The bar chart and pie charts compare data about education levels by gender and age range in Glasgow
city
Capitalize word
City
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 where located in Scotland in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
youngers
Correct your spelling
young people
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 showed the
significant
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
highest figure for having a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
, when elders did not have much qualification. But there are small
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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 in educational
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 between women and men.
People
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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between 16
years
Use synonyms
 and 50
years
Use synonyms
 have around 76% for
university
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
while
Linking Words
 9% of
people
Use synonyms
 were not qualified. From 16
years
Use synonyms
 to 20
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
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 individuals showed about 20% of school
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
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 as educational
level
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
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 of above 75
years
Use synonyms
 persons have
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
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degree
Use synonyms
, 72%
have
Add a missing verb
do have
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 not any
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
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. In one second of age 50
years
Use synonyms
 to 75
years
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 earned a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
,
when
Correct word choice
while
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 30% of
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 category
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not qualified. In the pie charts,
contribution
Add an article
the contribution
a contribution
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 from
educational
Add an article
the educational
an educational
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level
Use synonyms
 of school certificate remained constant rate in male and female. In 2010 educational
level
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 of
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 from men and women were at 32% and 29% respectively. Between 30% to 40% of men and women showed as
non qualified
Add a hyphen
non-qualified
show examples
.
Submitted by lakshanichathuri896 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, degree, level, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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