IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below give information about level of education in Glasgow,a city in Scotland, in 2010.

The chart below give information about level of education in Glasgow,a city in Scotland, in 2010.
#information #level #education #glasgow #city #scotland
The bar chart and pie charts compare data about education levels by gender and age range in Glasgow
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 where located in Scotland in 2010.
Overall
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
youngers
Correct your spelling
young people
show examples
 showed the
significant
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
highest figure for having a
university
degree
, when elders did not have much qualification. But there are small
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in educational
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 between women and men.
People
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 16
years
 and 50
years
 have around 76% for
university
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
while
 9% of
people
 were not qualified. From 16
years
 to 20
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 individuals showed about 20% of school
certificate
Fix the agreement mistake
certificates
show examples
 as educational
level
.
Although
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 of above 75
years
 persons have
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
degree
, 72%
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not any
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
. In one second of age 50
years
 to 75
years
people
 earned a
university
degree
,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 30% of
people
 in
this
 category
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not qualified. In the pie charts,
contribution
Add an article
the contribution
a contribution
show examples
 from
educational
Add an article
the educational
an educational
show examples
level
 of school certificate remained constant rate in male and female. In 2010 educational
level
 of
university
degree
 from men and women were at 32% and 29% respectively. Between 30% to 40% of men and women showed as
non qualified
Add a hyphen
non-qualified
show examples
.
Submitted by lakshanichathuri896 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words university, degree, level, people, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: