IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

#people #films #be #governments #support #film #industries
A lot of people watch more
movies
 from other countries than their own.
This
 essay will discuss
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where
this
 type of phenomenon happens and after we will see if the government should participate with investments in the local cinematic industry. Watching
movies
 from other countries is a way to open their eyes to other cultures. Humans prefer to watch foreign films because there is more diversity in terms of choice and in all the categories.
For example
, in
France
Add a comma
France,
show examples
 the categories of
movies
 are especially comedy,
while
 in the United States of America are action films like: fast and furious etc. People are researching multiple
movies
 and want to have the choice
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what they are going to watch not only to be restricted to
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 ones. The state should not give more financial support to local film industries because
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
 I said before, viewers want to have the choice and see diversity in cultures.
For example
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
European society is totally different from the American one, like the humor in Europe is not always understood by the Americans. It would be a money loss and nothing more, I think they should continue like they always did and nothing more.
To conclude
, humans like having the option and see different things than the habitual
movies
 that they watch every time.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the topics that will be discussed in the essay.
conclusion
Your essay should include both an introduction and a conclusion that summarises your main points for clarity.
supporting points
Develop your main ideas with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Work on the logical flow of your essay, using connective words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea.
task response
Fully address all parts of the task, including the 'why' of the preference for foreign films and the 'should' in terms of government support for local industries, providing a balanced discussion.
language usage
Use a variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express your ideas and increase the essay's readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
What to do next:
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