IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

#people #films #be #governments #support #film #industries
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Lately, with the increasing number of multiple movie options, numerous
people
 prefer to watch foreign
films
 over locally produced
films
.
This
 led to a popular question of whether or not governments should finance the local
film
 industries. The present essay will explore the root causes of the phenomenon
while
 discussing the necessity of the government to
support
 local
film
 industries. The phenomenon may be caused by the exposure to foreign lifestyles and new perspectives that are offered through foreign
movies
.
Thus
, foreign
movies
 often deliver a story and the allure with a more advanced technique and cinematography that may not be popular in locally produced
movies
.
For example
, Hollywood
movies
 are renowned for their high production and attract the audience to the qualities of the
movies
.
Furthermore
, the actresses and actors that play the role tend to be renowned
people
 which can increase the number of audiences watching their
movies
. As a matter of fact, the level of actresses or actors in foreign
movies
 and local
movies
 is not compatible, which causes
people
 to watch foreign over local
movies
. In terms of financial
support
 from the government, that could increase the production of the movie which slowly led the local
film
 industries to the same level as foreign
films
.
Moreover
, financial
support
 can help the production team to produce high-quality
movies
 with better promotion that enables them to compete with other foreign
movies
.
To conclude
, there are valid reasons for many
people
 to watch foreign
films
 over local
films
, I believe that the opportunity given by the government to financially
support
 the local
film
 industry can slowly lead to the advancement of local
movies
 to the international level.
Submitted by santos_dij on

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task achievement
To enhance your essay, consider providing specific examples of local films that have successfully competed with foreign films. This would showcase a deeper understanding and analysis of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are more tightly linked and transition smoothly from one to the next to improve cohesiveness. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your train of thought.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported by examples, though more detailed examples could improve the analysis further.
complete response
The essay addresses the key aspects of the prompt and offers a balanced view on the need for government support in the local film industry.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
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