IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#experiments #medicines #test #safety #products #people #animals #favour #humanity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that medicines and other products are routinely tested on
animals
Use synonyms
 before they are cleared for human
use
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 I tend towards the viewpoint that animal testing is morally wrong, I would have to support a limited amount of animal
experimentation
Use synonyms
 for the development of medicines. On the one hand, there are clear ethical arguments against animal
experimentation
Use synonyms
. To
use
Use synonyms
 a common example of
this
Linking Words
 practice, laboratory mice may be given an illness so that the effectiveness of a new drug can be measured. Opponents of
such
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
 argue that humans have no right to subject
animals
Use synonyms
 to
this
Linking Words
 kind of trauma
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that the lives of all creatures should be respected. They believe that the benefits to humans do not justify the suffering caused
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that scientists should
use
Use synonyms
 alternative methods of
research
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, reliable alternatives to animal
experimentation
Use synonyms
 may not always be available. Supporters of the
use
Use synonyms
 of
animals
Use synonyms
 in medical
research
Use synonyms
 believe that a certain amount of suffering on the part of mice or rats can be justified if human lives are saved. They argue that opponents of
such
Linking Words
research
Use synonyms
 might feel differently if a member of their own
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
 needed a medical treatment that had been developed through the
use
Use synonyms
 of animal
experimentation
Use synonyms
. Personally, I agree with the banning of animal testing for non-medical products, but I feel that it may be a necessary evil where new drugs and medical procedures are concerned. In conclusion, it seems to me that it would be wrong to ban testing on
animals
Use synonyms
 for vital medical
research
Use synonyms
 until equally effective alternatives have been developed.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, your argument could be further enhanced by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that these ideas are more logically sequenced throughout.
task achievement
Your essay provides a broad response to the task, yet you would benefit from elaborating your main points with more specific examples to effectively support your arguments. Doing so will strengthen the overall thoroughness and persuasiveness of your answer.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Ethics
  • Morality
  • Vivisection
  • In vivo testing
  • Cruelty-free
  • Animal welfare
  • Biomedical research
  • Toxicology
  • Sentience
  • Compassionate
  • Humane
  • Speciesism
  • In vitro
  • Alternative methods
  • Pharmacology
  • Clinical trials
  • Bioethics
  • Animal rights
  • Pain threshold
  • Efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: