It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Risk facilitates to burgeon. Whether people should be risk-takers or not is a controversial theory. I strongly believe that the benefits of

this

Linking Words

approach are valued superior to its drawbacks, Since not only could it promote evaluation ability, but

also

Linking Words

it lunches individuals on the path of unprecedented

success

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, what devastating impacts it may involve are stress and losing recent achievements. There are remarkable advantages in

this

Linking Words

tendency.

Firstly

Linking Words

,Those who take

risks

Use synonyms

learn how to evaluate various factors.

That is

Linking Words

to say, only when people make a risky decision can they learn how to evaluate elemental factors and their qualitativity. Unless risk enthusiasts improve their evaluation ability they can become decisive.

For instance

Linking Words

, someone who intends to alter their career has to take various elements behind their decision into account, like job safety, wages and job satisfaction of and job satisfaction of new option.

Thus

Linking Words

, taking

risks

Use synonyms

and estimating ability are two interrelated and integrated subjects.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the more societies take

risks

Use synonyms

, the more they are prone to experience considerable

success

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

means, that in order to acquire

success

Use synonyms

, individuals have to take beneficial

risks

Use synonyms

. When enthusiasts make an effort in their risky path, they will be open to crowning achievements in their lives.

Consequently

Linking Words

risks

Use synonyms

keep takers in the spotlight. Despite becoming successful and improving personal abilities, unconscious

risks

Use synonyms

may hazard mental health.

In other words

Linking Words

, those who take

risks

Use synonyms

seem to suffer from stress and anxiety during

this

Linking Words

phase as they are aware of the challenges behind their decision.

However

Linking Words

, meditation has flourished in the case of reducing stress recently.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, attempts at risk might break the bridge to the recent achievement. What it means is whenever people do not make decisions consciously, they would lose whatever they have earned, especially when financial literacy.

For instance

Linking Words

, a wrong financial investment may lead to going under.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

taking

risks

Use synonyms

overshadows mental well-being and loss of recent achievements, it improves evaluation capabilities and brings

success

Use synonyms

undeniably.

mirhashemim7Fri Oct 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make sure to clearly state your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the introduction.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear logical structure in your essay with well-organized paragraphs and clear topic sentences. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is generally good. However, try to vary your word choices more and use more academic vocabulary.

grammatical range

Your grammar is mostly accurate, but there are a few instances of grammar errors. Review your use of verb tenses and sentence structure for improvement.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
J. Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries; the advantages are making the developing nation richer and therefore, making it more competitive; the disadvantages are risking the traditional small industries, and disputes because of the friction between different cultures.
6.5
band
17.Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart.
Different people argue that the use of technology has been beneficial by getting people closer. However, others believe that it has brought the opposite effect: driving us apart. This essay agrees that although technology has provided us with some benefits, it definitely makes people lose focus on their daily lives and therefore, relationships.
6
band
The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession of if they should adapt pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people believe that the young generation should choose their own profession while others argue that they should be practical. Though choosing a career path that gives a stable income will help people survive in our thriving economy, I believe that doing what you love is more fulfilling. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and explain why choosing your own profession is better.
6.5
band
Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects so it should bes compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that art should become compulsory in schools because of its positive effects on the maturity of children. The writer of this essay holds a view that it should be optional as being suitable for gifted students.
8
band
Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?
Transactions of money among people and businesses have been a daily occurrence for many millennia. Although in the past transferring was a tangible activity involving notes and coins, with the advancements in internet and mobile technologies, the physical aspect of fund transferring has now mostly transitioned into electronic means. In my opinion, I believe that this transformation is a favourable evolution due to several key benefits.

It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

J. Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

17.Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart.

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession of if they should adapt pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects so it should bes compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?