It is important for people to take riske, both in their professional lives and their personal lifes. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Risk facilitates to burgeon. Whether people should be risk-takers or not is a controversial theory. I strongly believe that the benefits of
this
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approach are valued superior to its drawbacks, Since not only could it promote evaluation ability, but
also
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it lunches individuals on the path of unprecedented
success
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.
However
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, what devastating impacts it may involve are stress and losing recent achievements. There are remarkable advantages in
this
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tendency.
Firstly
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,Those who take
risks
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learn how to evaluate various factors.
That is
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to say, only when people make a risky decision can they learn how to evaluate elemental factors and their qualitativity. Unless risk enthusiasts improve their evaluation ability they can become decisive.
For instance
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, someone who intends to alter their career has to take various elements behind their decision into account, like job safety, wages and job satisfaction of and job satisfaction of new option.
Thus
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, taking
risks
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and estimating ability are two interrelated and integrated subjects.
Moreover
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, the more societies take
risks
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, the more they are prone to experience considerable
success
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.
This
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means, that in order to acquire
success
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, individuals have to take beneficial
risks
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. When enthusiasts make an effort in their risky path, they will be open to crowning achievements in their lives.
Consequently
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,
risks
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keep takers in the spotlight. Despite becoming successful and improving personal abilities, unconscious
risks
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may hazard mental health.
In other words
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, those who take
risks
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seem to suffer from stress and anxiety during
this
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phase as they are aware of the challenges behind their decision.
However
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, meditation has flourished in the case of reducing stress recently.
Furthermore
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, attempts at risk might break the bridge to the recent achievement. What it means is whenever people do not make decisions consciously, they would lose whatever they have earned, especially when financial literacy.
For instance
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, a wrong financial investment may lead to going under.
To sum up
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,
although
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taking
risks
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overshadows mental well-being and loss of recent achievements, it improves evaluation capabilities and brings
success
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undeniably.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical structure in your essay with well-organized paragraphs and clear topic sentences. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally good. However, try to vary your word choices more and use more academic vocabulary.
grammatical range
Your grammar is mostly accurate, but there are a few instances of grammar errors. Review your use of verb tenses and sentence structure for improvement.
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