The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#values #gain #parents #influence #future #success #skills #school

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There has been a long debate about whether the fortunes gained from parents outweigh the

knowledge

earned from school. From my point of view, the

fortune

learned from family members is of greater significance than pure

knowledge

. It is undeniable that

skills

and

knowledge

play a critical role in individual

success

. To be specific, an in-depth understanding of scientific theories and

skills

is the basis for people who work in the academic industry and science-related fields.

Besides

, apart from that by possessing sophisticated

skills

individuals are able to achieve

success

However

, rich

knowledge

and

skills

don’t serve as the only condition towards

success

, without proper interpersonal

skills

, which is one of the obstacles in teamwork. Strongly I believe, on the flip side, the importance of

fortune

and moral guidance earned from home has been underestimated for the following reasons.

On the other hand

, respect for laws keeps them from jail, because it is the baseline of social lives. By following laws, people can live in a harmonious atmosphere and pursue their goals safely.

Besides

, individuals with respect for others and kindness, are able to receive respect from others and,

therefore

, enjoy good popularity among them. In

this

situation, building confidence, which improves their ability to make decisions, leads to personal

success

. In conclusion, considering the confidence and popularity built by kindness and other

fortune

learned from parents, I would once reaffirm my position that the importance of

fortune

earned in individuals’ early lives for their personal achievement overtakes the significance of simple

knowledge

Submitted by liu486929 on Sun Apr 28 2024

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Focus

Ensure your essay maintains a clear and consistent focus on the question. While you've addressed the prompt effectively, further refinement in directly comparing the impact of familial values versus school-taught skills could enhance clarity.

Structure

You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Understanding

Your argument presents a thoughtful consideration of the topic, demonstrating good understanding.

Support

You have demonstrated the ability to develop and support your main points, contributing to a coherent discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instilled
emotional intelligence
resilience
perseverance
theoretical
irreplaceable
long-term success
professional world
life's challenges
moral values
decision-making
support system

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The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people believe that we should not use animals as testing materials for human beings because this is too cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .