98.Many manufactured food and drinks products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
prices
of sugary
products
should be increased in order to prevent
people
from getting health problems.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement because increasing the
price
of high-sugar
products
, will not be profitable for the consumers,
also
individuals
will be aware of how harmful these
products
are.
People
will be less willing to buy
products
with high levels of sugar if the
prices
of these
products
increase.
This
is because sugary
products
are only snacks, not normal meal, so is not profitable for
individuals
to spend more money on sweets, which are bad for their health, than on
products
such
as vegetables and rice which its cheap and provides sources of vitamins which keep their body healthy.
For instance
, Japan increased the
prices
of sweets and chocolate in 2019 which reduced sales of these
products
by approximately 70%.
Individuals
are unaware of how harmful are the
products
they consume. Normally, when
individuals
buy a product, they only think of the taste and the
price
. Sugary
products
are cheap to produce and
also
, sold at a low
price
, allowing many
people
to be able to afford them. Consuming these
products
leads to many health problems, which they are not aware of until they go to the doctor.
For instance
, 50% of American adults are obese
due to
excessive consumption of sugary
products
, so increasing the
price
of these
products
, diabetes and obesity cases reduces. In conclusion, increasing the
price
of
products
with a high level of sugar will let
people
know
that is
not profitable to buy these
products
and allow
people
to know the damage that these goods cause to their bodies,
therefore
, I believe, that the
prices
of the sugary
products
should be increased.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
It is essential to have a clear and cohesive introduction and conclusion. Both parts should clearly state the position and summarize the key points made in the essay. Ensure your introduction briefly presents the topic and your stance, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. However, avoid overusing them as they may disrupt readability. Strive for a balance between plain and complex sentence structures for clear communication of ideas.
task achievement
Address the prompt fully by developing your arguments comprehensively. Your essay should cover all aspects of the question, clearly state your position, thoroughly support your main points, and include relevant examples. Avoid generalizations and strive to provide specific details that underline your arguments.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your essay by elaborating on your ideas more extensively. Aim to explain and support each point with reasoned arguments, clear exposition, and where appropriate, relevant examples.
task achievement
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples should be directly linked to the argument made and help illustrate the point more clearly. Avoid vague references and ensure that your examples are pertinent and enhance the reader's understanding of your stance.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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