IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, technological and transportation advances provide more opportunities for
people
Use synonyms
 to work from anywhere and choose their living locations.
This
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 essay will first demonstrate how technological development gives possibilities to increase the quality of life for the better side.
However
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, it will
also
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 show that It can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
isolation. Despite some drawbacks, In my opinion, the advantages of development in
this
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 field outweigh the disadvantages. The primary reason
to begin
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 with is that inventions in technology and mobility help
people
Use synonyms
 earn more money in a shorter time frame. Fast data transmission between
people
Use synonyms
 and the possibility to find any information quickly make
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
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 faster and more efficient.
For example
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, a person can complete assignments from his house and not waste time in traffic jams.
That is
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 how he can do a larger amount of
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 in the same period. The second reason is environmental improvement. The development of transportation
such
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 as eco technology will reduce carbon emissions and make our environment cleaner.
For instance
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, new electric buses were introduced in Almaty a few years ago and helped to reduce smog and pollution in the city.
However
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, those opposed to
this
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 say that digital transformation and transport breakthroughs tend to lead to disconnection between
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
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. Since more
people
Use synonyms
 are engaged in spending time on the computer working or playing games they slowly become growing apart from each other,
on the other hand
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, cooperative games and AI-driven platforms that are being provided by technology can help bring society together.
For example
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, my sister calls her friend every day because they both like playing the same online games.
To conclude
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, the fact that modernization and mobility improvements make the way
people
Use synonyms
 work more comfortable and protect the cities’ environment outweighs the argument that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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separates
Correct subject-verb agreement
separate
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 bodies from each other.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction outlines both the advantages and disadvantages more clearly, and consider rephrasing the thesis statement for smoother readability.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, try to expand further on your ideas with more comprehensive explanations. Adding a few more sentences to elaborate would strengthen your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with minor grammatical errors, such as capitalization and phrasing. For example, 'It can lead to the isolation' should be 'it can lead to isolation'.
task achievement
Your essay clearly identifies a relevant topic and addresses both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
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