1.Some people choose a career according to the social status, or salary. Others choose a career according to their interests. So what do you think is the best what to choose a career? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.
Current people choose their occupation based on its social value and wages,
while
others would rather start a career
based on their desires. I completely believe that all of us should pick a career
, which we are interested in,
because it is the only way to be a real professional in a specific area and to find a sustainable job.
First and foremost, employees, who are enthusiastic Remove the comma
apply
with
Change preposition
about
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
job
, are always knowledgeable and desired workers in their field, so they work really hard and persevere every time, so they reach the top in their sphere. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Additionally
, if they become one of the most competent workers, they will gain high
salary. Correct article usage
a high
For instance
, a teacher, whose students are winners of
Change preposition
in
competetions
, Correct your spelling
competitions
get
paid more, because it means he or she Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
teachs
remarkably. Correct your spelling
teaches
reaches
Hence
, a hard-working laborer
, who loves his job, is always revered and valued by the staff and employers.
Change the spelling
labourer
Secondly
, people, who chose
their Wrong verb form
choose
career
according to
social status or money, may not be successful in their sphere since they are not great workers. If you do
not keen on an area you chose, most likely you will not be good enough Verb problem
are
in
it. Change preposition
at
Therefore
, they might be fired or change their occupation constantly due to
the lack of interest. An example of this
is a large part of the population with higher education, who is not working in their specialty.
In conclusion, I think that every person should select a career
by its
preferences, in that Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
case
there are more chances to have a Add the comma(s)
case,
career
path, higher wages, and some respect among others.Submitted by kama.star.00 on
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task achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this idea is expanded upon with sufficient detail. Refrain from making generalized statements without backing them up with specific examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence, with a logical flow of ideas and clear progression from one paragraph to the next. However, you could improve the cohesion by using a wider range of linking phrases and more varied sentence structures to better connect your ideas.