IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows how the australian bureau of meterology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a University lecturer describing information shown below.

The diagram below shows how the australian bureau of meterology collects up-to-the-minute information on the weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Write a report for a University lecturer describing information shown below.
#australian #bureau #meterology #up-to-the-minute #information #weather #forecasts #report #university #lecturer
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The scheme below gives information about the Australian Bureau of Meteorology and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 path of collecting data about weather in order to produce reliable forecasts. Many parts of the diagram
connected
Add a missing verb
are connected
show examples
 with lines. The scheme shows us many ways of collecting
info
Use synonyms
 about
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
. The first way is the satellite. It flies
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the orbit of the Earth and
artificial
Correct article usage
an artificial
show examples
 module
send
Correct subject-verb agreement
sends
show examples
 photos of the Earth to the data
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Meteorologists analyse these photos and enter their prognosis
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the central computer. The second way
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 the radar. Radar claims the Earth screen from satellite or
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 the synoptic chart by itself and
send
Correct subject-verb agreement
sends
show examples
 all of the information to the central PC. Drifting in the waters of the Atlantic
ocean
Capitalize word
Ocean
show examples
 buoy could be a third way to collect data about weather. It works in a bundle with
radar
Correct article usage
a radar
show examples
 system and
send
Change the verb form
sends
show examples
info
Use synonyms
 about tsunamis and earthquakes to the center.
At the end
Linking Words
 of all three
ways
Add a comma
ways,
show examples
 big supercomputer is
excisting
Correct your spelling
exciting
existing
.
This
Linking Words
 machine does
final
Correct article usage
the final
show examples
 analysis of all collected
info
Use synonyms
 and
send
Change the verb form
sends
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 to the TV and radio as news, and mobile phones as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
attention. The
Use synonyms
info collecting
Add a hyphen
info-collecting
show examples
 system is very hard and unclear. But
this
Linking Words
 diagram clarifies it and makes the information understandable for simple people.
Submitted by kamashzhazira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words info with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: