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Writing Samples
Band 7

the chart shows the percenrage of men and women live in poverty in united states in 2008 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparision where relevant

the chart shows the percenrage of men and women live in poverty in united states in 2008 summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparision where relevant
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The chart illustrates the
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
 of poverty in the USA in 2008 by two
groups
Use synonyms
 of sex and by people
start
Verb problem
apply
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from under 5 to 75 and up.
Overall
Linking Words
, women under 5 and from
ages
Use synonyms
 18-24 showed the highest percentage of poverty. Meanwhile,
men
Use synonyms
 aged 75-up were the lowest ones.
At
Change the preposition
In
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 the beginning, count just over 20%,
men
Use synonyms
 slightly fall to approximately 7%. It was
accounted
Verb problem
comprised
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 of the public from less than 5 to 35-44
ages
Use synonyms
. The next two
groups
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 had a similar
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage of
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 about 5%. It was increased to nearly 10% by the age 60-64. After that, they decreased 2 times in a row, above 5% and exactly 5%. Meantime, women were fluctuated at the start. They glowed up at the same percentage after glowed dawn and calculated more than 20%. But, the next 3
groups
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 rocketly declined to under 10% at
ages
Use synonyms
 45-54. The next 3 different
groups
Use synonyms
 of
ages
Use synonyms
 were the same, only the
last
Linking Words
 one grew to around 15%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, ages, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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