in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments, while others think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
time and age, the number of people
living longer than ever before is greater than the number of births. I believe that having elderly people
in society is beneficial and outweighs the disadvantages.
On the one hand, most people
think the older population is
a negative effect and has a lot of trouble for the nation. Because older Verb problem
has
people
were not productive enough to do work anymore, the national income declined smoothly. For example
, if some workplaces set the retirement age above 70 years old, the worker will not have a job anymore, will not get any salary, and will feel useless to society.
On the other hand
, some people
say that there are advantages if society has more elderly people
. Cariying
for elderly Correct your spelling
Caring
people
was traditionally the responsibility of families. This
will increase the amount of professional medical care in the house. Nurses are better trained to take care of senior citizens than family members. Some family members have other medical backgrounds, or perhaps they do not have medical backgrounds. For instance
, a lot of home facilities are increasing, and they are competitive with any facilities that are provided; after that, home care will recruit more facilitators.
Furthermore
, young people
can learn a lot of knowledge from older people
by
their experience, that might be young Change preposition
through
people
have not born
yet Add a missing verb
been born
on
Change preposition
in
the
previous years. Historians really need Correct article usage
apply
olderst
Correct your spelling
older
people
in some case
as a living Fix the agreement mistake
cases
witness
to Fix the agreement mistake
witnesses
reveals
the real Wrong verb form
reveal
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
on
that time. Change preposition
at
For example
, people
who living
before an independent day, when colonialism Wrong verb form
lived
were
colonializing Indonesia are rare and the Change the verb form
was
histroians
Correct your spelling
historians
historian
is
looking for them to get some Correct subject-verb agreement
are
informations
as resources.
It cannot be turned down if an ageing population has a bad effect on the government's financial side, but having more older Change the wording
information
pieces of information
people
can be very beneficial for young people
to get a job.Submitted by re.li on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay should present a clear position throughout the response. Aim to answer the question directly and maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay. Consider enhancing your essay by developing the reasons behind your stance in more depth with a range of fully expanded and well-supported ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on the logical structure of your essay by ordering your ideas in clear paragraphs, each of which should cover a single main point. This will help the examiner follow your argument more easily. Transition words and phrases should be used to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs to achieve better cohesion. It is also vital to work on a strong introduction that addresses the task directly and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.