The graph below shows information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. Write at least 250 words and make a comparison which relevent

#information #gym #membership #comparison #relevent

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The graph depicts the number of

gym

Use synonyms

memberships in thousands throughout a thirty-year period.

Overall

Linking Words

, the male participants in the

gym

Use synonyms

outnumbered that of the female.

However

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

Use synonyms

gym

Use synonyms

membership

Use synonyms

witnessed a substantial increase contrasting to that of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

men

Use synonyms

, which had a downward trend. Regarding the diagram, the

Men

Use synonyms

membership

Use synonyms

in the

gym

Use synonyms

started slightly above 2,000 and gradually increased before experiencing a substantial decline in 1995. In 2000, the pattern began to rise again until it reached its peak, which was more than doubled than the initial count, at 5,000.

However

Linking Words

, the

Use synonyms

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

Gym

Use synonyms

membership

Use synonyms

experienced a steep fall ending the observed years just below 1,000.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the

women

Use synonyms

initially

Linking Words

showed less interest in

gym

Use synonyms

membership

Use synonyms

, with only 1,000 recorded in 1980.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it considerably grew

onward

Rephrase

apply

show examples

and overtook the

men

Use synonyms

's trend in 1995, which

also

Linking Words

had the highest number of female participants at approximately 3,000. In 2000, the

women

Use synonyms

membership

Use synonyms

fell to about 2,000

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

followed by an increase in the next period

Change preposition

show examples

around 2,500. Similar to the trend in male

membership

Use synonyms

, the

women

Use synonyms

gym

Use synonyms

membership

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

decreased in 2010, standing at just below 2,000.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Nov 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words gym, women, membership, men with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "substantial" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

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The graph below shows information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. Write at least 250 words and make a comparison which relevent

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many families nowadays, both parents work and pay people to look after their children. Some people believe this is not good for families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

rental or own house. adavantages and disadvantages

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind , such as reading and doing word puzzles . Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time . Dicuss two views and give your opinion .

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.