The graph below shows information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. Write at least 250 words and make a comparison which relevent

#information #gym #membership #comparison #relevent

The graph depicts the number of

gym

memberships in thousands throughout a thirty-year period.

Overall

, the male participants in the

gym

outnumbered that of the female.

However

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

gym

membership

witnessed a substantial increase contrasting to that of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

men

, which had a downward trend. Regarding the diagram, the

Men

membership

in the

gym

started slightly above 2,000 and gradually increased before experiencing a substantial decline in 1995. In 2000, the pattern began to rise again until it reached its peak, which was more than doubled than the initial count, at 5,000.

However

, the

men

Change noun form

men's

show examples

Gym

membership

experienced a steep fall ending the observed years just below 1,000.

In contrast

, the

women

initially

showed less interest in

gym

membership

, with only 1,000 recorded in 1980.

Nevertheless

, it considerably grew

onward

Rephrase

apply

show examples

and overtook the

men

's trend in 1995, which

also

had the highest number of female participants at approximately 3,000. In 2000, the

women

membership

fell to about 2,000

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

followed by an increase in the next period

Change preposition

show examples

around 2,500. Similar to the trend in male

membership

, the

women

gym

membership

also

decreased in 2010, standing at just below 2,000.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Fri Nov 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words gym, women, membership, men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "substantial" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

191 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. Write at least 250 words and make a comparison which relevent

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that Ina city, the best way to travel by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of traveling in a city. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences arethe key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.