IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think It's better to choose friends who always hav the same opinions as them. Other people believe it is good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #friends #hav
In our world, nowadays, it is evident that governments and
intities
Correct your spelling
entities
 all over the world treat the rich class better than the poor
one
 in everything, especially in earnings. In
this
 essay, I will be discussing my point of view on
this
 matter. On the
one
 hand, to produce a great society, institutions should not differentiate between high and low, or name and fame, they must pay the poor employee the same as the rich
recieves
Correct your spelling
receive
, maybe the person you mistreat will benefit you more than the other that you treat kindly.
For example
, when you respect and give the poor hard worker what he deserves, you will get the same result at work.
Also
, you will give him and his family the chance to enhance their lifestyles and develop as productive members of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Therefore
, be good to them and appreciate what they are doing.
On the other hand
,
although
 the government needs to be fair with all types of classes, on
this
 planet where we live, you can not eliminate racism.
For instance
, when someone from a rich place comes to you, at the same time, a poor
one
 comes
also
, even if their capabilities are the same, you will choose the rich
one
, because it serves your interests.
This
 is our problem in most countries. It creates hatred and inequality between the people. Crucial steps of employment
selections
Fix the agreement mistake
selection
show examples
 based on qualification, experience, degree, and efficient skills have to be present. In conclusion, incomes must be paid to the highest people as same as the poorest ones, if they are in the same efficiency.
Consequently
, you will have a better society.
Thus
, be smart and a useful person.
Submitted by shireen.asadi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay does not adequately address the prompt given. You should ensure that you directly respond to the question by discussing both views presented and giving your own opinion on the matter. Without addressing the topic of whether having friends with the same or differing opinions is better, the response is considered incomplete and off-topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logical sequencing of ideas. It is important to organize thoughts into a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each cover a single main idea, and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion. Use cohesive devices to help binding ideas together and ensuring smooth transitions between points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Conformity
  • Harmony
  • Shared values
  • Echo chambers
  • Like-mindedness
  • Conflict avoidance
  • Diversity of thought
  • Challenge
  • Exposure
  • Open-mindedness
  • Compromise
  • Constructive criticism
  • Communication
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Productive disagreement
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!