Many Museums charge for admission while others do not. Do you think that the advantages of charging people into the museum out weights the disadvantages ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is quite obvious that a museum is the area that used to store precious things in each country,
therefore
, the authority has to charge an entrance fee to preserve and repair
this
place.
Whereas
there is someone who opines that they shouldn't recharge it. In my opinion, I opine that the museum should charge for the admission. On one hand, it can have a negative impact on preservation because
this
kind of place some year don't get enough budget to repair and maintain the value of art pieces and the architecture in the museum,
hence
, it will be hard for the officer to provide the maintenance fee. There are activists who have tried to get the government to take
this
issue more seriously because
this
area is the most important area to store their precious items.
On the other hand
, it will be harder if the admission is too expensive so the officers should calculate reasonable prices to attract our population to attend
this
place.
For instance
, if the price is 4 to 6 dollars it will be a reasonable price for the audience because it is affordable to pay and
this
will be another activity for the individual to do in their holiday or their free time to spend with the family.
To conclude
, it will be hard for the authorities to find the proper budget for
this
issue,
whereas
, the officers should cooperate with the government to discover the most appropriate solution together because
this
is the space that can identify our country.
Submitted by amittawin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and coherent structure with an identifiable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and your thesis statement. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea, supported by details and examples. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your opinion. Missing a clear introduction or conclusion can affect the coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be well-developed and supported with specific examples. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each point is elaborated upon with concrete examples or data wherever possible. This will strengthen your arguments and help to achieve a higher score for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
For task achievement, it is essential to fully respond to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Your essay should clearly state your opinion on whether the advantages of charging admission fees to museums outweigh the disadvantages. Make sure to explore both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion. Add relevant examples to support your points and enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
To improve clarity, use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary. This will help convey your ideas more effectively and can contribute to a higher score for task achievement. Focus on clarity and precision in your argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: