IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society
Associating the high sales of consumer products with the dominance of advertising is an arguable debate subject, with advocating adverts as a source of power in today's world. I firmly opine that
advertisements
 play a pivotal role in supporting consumerism. The first and foremost argument is that using
advertisements
 might lead to an increase in the rate of consumerism in any country. It is undeniable to say that they use more famous and glamorous
people
 in their brands to create artificial wants. These wants do not reflect the real needs of humans. To cite an example, Nike and Adidas regularly sponsor renowned football players to improve their sales and it attracts
people
's draw to afford these goods which are not worth saving in the long-term. Another issue is that several companies can not earmark sufficient money for
advertisements
 to compete with the global and popular ones that emerged after the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991.
This
 unbalanced rivalry among firms might open a door to improving their popularity and having few choices that
people
 tend to opt them
while
 global companies use gimmicks.
For instance
, There are least restaurants, which
people
 regularly use,
such
 as KFC,
Mcdonald's
Correct word choice
and Mcdonald's
show examples
, etc in Azerbaijan. Their powers in the local market create a sufficient environment to trick
people
 using gimmicks.
To conclude
,
although
people
 believe that
advertisements
 are beneficial, and can be used to find out what they want,
advertisements
 shape the trend of consumer goods in a negative way.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your score in Task Response, it is essential to ensure that your position on the topic is clear throughout the essay. While your opinion is stated, there should be more exploration and development of ideas to fully address all parts of the prompt. Every paragraph should stay relevant to the central topic, and the argument should be consistently developed.
coherence cohesion
Increase the coherence and cohesion of your essay by organizing your paragraphs more logically, ensuring clear progression from one idea to the next. Linking words or phrases should be used to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. This will provide a clear sense of direction for the reader throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived need
  • lifestyle aspirations
  • brand image
  • prestige
  • psychological techniques
  • scarcity
  • social proof
  • celebrity endorsements
  • technological advancements
  • product innovations
  • emerging consumer needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: