More and more people are using computers and electronic devices to access information. Hence, printing of newspapers and magazines should be stopped. Do you agree or disagree?

Even though
, Increasing
Correct your spelling
an increasing
number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are using computers and other electronic means to get information. I
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
agree that
newspaper
and
magazine's
Change noun form
magazine
show examples
production should come to a halt.
As reading
Correct word choice
Reading
show examples
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
is beneficial to a reader and to the stakeholders of the
industry
behind its production.
Firstly
, reading is a hobby which was encouraged by all the
people
in the past and is in the present
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Parents in the past used to build
this
habit in their children. And since
modernisation
Add a comma
modernisation,
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
of youngsters has
acess
Correct your spelling
access
to electronic devices
such
as mobile phones and laptop and
thus
, have gone away from the habit of reading.
For example
, nowadays online games
such
as pubg and
freefire
Correct your spelling
free-fire
free fire
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
renowned among children, and
has build
Wrong verb form
they have built
show examples
the hobby
to play
Change preposition
of playing
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
daily and
further
buried the healthy habit of reading. Halting the production of
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
would mean cutting ties to the tradition of reading, even though reading a novel and a
newspaper
are different.
Moreover
, some
people
still read newspapers and magazines which may be keeping alive the hope for
people
to revive the reading
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
, as was in the past.
Additionally
, thousands of
people
are employed in the printing
industry
,
stakeholders
Correct word choice
and stakeholders
show examples
such
as employees, directors,
Correct word choice
and messenger
show examples
messenger
Fix the agreement mistake
messengers
show examples
to the investors in the printing
industry
would lose if printing of the newspapers and magazines were to
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
to a halt. Investors has
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
money invested which would be lost and the employees would lose their job,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
source of income. Not only the directors of the company but every person associated would lose and so printing should not be stopped. In conclusion, even though most
people
are switching to electronic means nowadays,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
newspapers have kept the reading tradition alive still in some
people
, in my opinion.
Moreover
, many
people
still
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
benefitted
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
industry
would lose if printing were to be stopped.
Submitted by irazalalji on

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task achievement
Be sure to directly address the given prompt and clearly state whether you agree or disagree within the introduction. Your stance should remain consistent and evident throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, focus on constructing paragraphs with clear topic sentences followed by explanation and example. Ensure each paragraph's central idea is directly related to the essay question.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This can demonstrate an ability to engage critically with the topic and provide a more convincing argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on the flow of ideas, ensuring logical sequencing of sentences and coherence between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words appropriately to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Check for any grammatical errors or awkward phrasings that may hinder clarity. Aim for variety in sentence structure and vocabulary, while ensuring accuracy.
coherence cohesion
An effective conclusion should not only summarize the main points but also restate your position in a clear and concise manner, providing a sense of closure.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessing information
  • Environmentally friendly
  • Sustainable
  • Eco-friendly
  • Cost-effective
  • Convenience
  • Accessibility
  • Interactive
  • Dynamic
  • Multimedia content
  • Space-saving
  • Clutter
  • Digital divide
  • Visual appeal
  • Nostalgia
  • Tactile experience
  • Supporting local businesses
  • Reliable
  • Permanent
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