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Writing Samples
Band 7

the graph below shows the number of tourist visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.

the graph below shows the number of tourist visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourist #caribbean #island
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The given line chart illustrates the total
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 to a Caribbean
Island
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 based on the location of their accommodations from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, a certain Caribbean
Island
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experienced
Wrong verb form
experiences
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 an increasing number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 annually.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the majority of tourists
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
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 staying on the cruise rather than living on the
island
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. There were approximately three-quarters of a
million
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visitors
Use synonyms
 who stayed on a cruise in 2010.
This
Linking Words
 figure remained constant before gradually increasing and doubling its initial value in 2013. The peak of 1.5
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 was sustained for over a 3-year
period
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. By the end of the
period
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, tourists staying on the ships contributed to 1.5
million
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, which accounted for about 40% of the total
visitors
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 to the Caribbean
Island
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those who chose to stay on the
island
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 were fewer than 500,000
visitors
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 at the beginning of the
period
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.
This
Linking Words
 value fluctuated until it rose significantly in 2013. It surged from 0.5
million
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 in 2013 to four times that value by the end of the
period
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in mid-2015, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on the
island
Use synonyms
 surpassed the number staying on cruise ships.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, million, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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