Some people believe that technology has made our lives more complicated and the solution is to live a simple life without technology. Agree or disagree?
Some
people
believe that technology
has made people
's live
more complicated. They think the best solution for Replace the word
lives
this
problem is to choose a simple life-style
by having Correct your spelling
lifestyle
life
without Add an article
a life
technology
. This
essay agrees that technology
must not be applied for
all Change preposition
to
life
aspects as it takes time
.
Firstly
, the
sophisticated stuff like Correct article usage
apply
technology
takes much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
time
when people
need to get the
Correct article usage
apply
food
. This
problem can be seen at
Change preposition
in
the
public Correct article usage
apply
service
like Fix the agreement mistake
services
restaurant
. Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
Nowdays
, many resto employers Correct the word
Nowadays
using
Wrong verb form
use
order
application
and QR Fix the agreement mistake
applications
code
in their Fix the agreement mistake
codes
bussines
. Correct your spelling
business
People
need to use their Fix the agreement mistake
phones
phone
to Fix the agreement mistake
phones
order
Correct article usage
apply
the
menus through Correct article usage
apply
Change noun form
restaurants
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurant'
restaurants'
Change noun form
restaurants
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
application
. They have to download the application on Playstore, Fix the agreement mistake
applications
then
sign up to create their account,
and fill Remove the comma
apply
the
form. After Change preposition
out the
registrating
, they Correct your spelling
registering
finnaly
can Correct your spelling
finally
order
the food
. This
amazing step can be done by some people
who has
internet and a sophisticated phone. Change the verb form
have
However
, if the people
in this
situation do not have the internet, they need to get the internet in order
to get the food
. Moreover
, the buyer have
to pay the bill with e-money by scanning Change the verb form
has
QR
code as most entrepreneurs encourage Correct article usage
a QR
people
to be
less cash. For some Verb problem
use
people
it just make
the harder to get what they need even though Change the verb form
makes
the
have enough money in their wallet to pay the bill. It means Correct your spelling
they
this
situation does
not Verb problem
is
practicall
Correct your spelling
practical
practically
to
all Change preposition
for
people
.
Secondly
, in Indonesia
education sector, all teachers have to use Change noun form
Indonesia's
PMM
platform to do their online training. It sounds good, but the teachers have to spend much Correct article usage
the PMM
time
and ennergy
to do their new responsible as Correct your spelling
energy
the
educators. In bad situations, they still have to do their work Correct article usage
apply
although
the office hour is over. The teachers open their laptop
in their Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
home
to do their online training, Fix the agreement mistake
homes
however
it decreases their quality Add a comma
however,
time
with their fammily
Correct your spelling
family
that is
really more important than online training. This
situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
happen
when Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
technology
is more used.
Even though,
we all know that Remove the comma
apply
technology
has given many things to people
Change noun form
people's
life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
but
we do not always need sophisticated tools to have a good Correct word choice
apply
life
.
in conclusion, I agree that for these cases we do not need to use technology
for ordering the food
, paying bills, and teacher training online. We just need Correct article usage
a classsical
classsical
way to do Correct your spelling
classical
these thing
.Change the determiner
this thing
these things
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Avoid general statements without a clear thesis.
task achievement
Provide a broader range of relevant examples to support your arguments. This will help demonstrate deeper understanding and insight.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the essay flow more naturally and coherently.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are developed with clear explanations and that each paragraph contains one central idea that is expanded upon.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and correct usage of vocabulary. This is crucial for the clarity of your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!