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Band 1

in some countries, a few earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others belive that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#countries #salaries #people #country #belive #government #control #limit #amount
The concepts of
this
 were divided into two sides. Some people think that individual classwork will help more to their
children
, but
Correct quantifier usage
more, but
show examples
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 other people think
with
Change preposition
apply
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accurately,
on the contrary
.
In the
Change preposition
The
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 first thought says that classwork should be done individually. I almost agree with
this
 thought. I think it's really good for
children
 who have inclinations to introverts. All
children
 are different and have different interests and worldviews. But their parents think that doing classwork individually
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
children
's responsibility and
self discipline
Add a hyphen
self-discipline
show examples
. They believe working alone helps students to develop their
concentrate
Replace the word
concentration
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and take control of their work, and
also
 they strongly believe that a teacher who studies individually will give more attention and
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time.
Additionally
, some
children
 are shy and feel uncomfortable,
this
Rephrase
so this
show examples
 type of education is ideal for them.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure. Ensure that there is a logical flow between paragraphs. Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to establish their central idea. Additionally, linking words should be used to transition smoothly from one idea to the next.
task achievement
It seems that you have misunderstood the task. The essay does not address the topic given. Always make sure to discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion as the task prompt asks. Develop your arguments fully with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic development
  • consumer spending
  • innovation
  • specialized skills
  • income disparity
  • social cohesion
  • wealth redistribution
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • monopolization of wealth
  • competitive markets
  • government intervention
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