IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Many people believe that scientific or medical testing on
animals
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 should be prohibited,
while
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 others believe experiments on
animals
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 are beneficial and can provide us with accurate results about the product's safety. In my opinion, animal testing is not justified and must be banned. These days the trend of experimenting with medicines and cosmetics on
animals
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,
such
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 as rats or rabbits has been increasing.
Furthermore
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, it leads to hazardous results for these
animals
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 leading to death and diseases. But those tests are inaccurate and may be fake, because a rat's body is different from a human, in its build, organs, and responses.
Moreover
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, relying on how the animal reacts to a certain product can be an unrealistic conclusion on whether the product is suitable for us or not.
Therefore
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, taking the lives of these innocent creatures is a waste and not fair.
Additionally
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, one way to avoid harming the
animals
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 and create products that don't cause any harm at the same time is to not include any substances that might damage our bodies,
instead
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 natural and safe ingredients must be used.
For example
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, many skincare companies in South Korea include natural and skin-friendly ingredients,
for instance
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, rice water, coffee and tea. Another alternative can be to ask people if they are willing to run some tests on them, with a huge amount of money in return,
although
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 it's not preferable, people would do it. In conclusion, killing
animals
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 for the sake of producing a cleanser is a dangerous idea and the results are useless.
In contrast
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, before creating something make it environmentally friendly for species and human

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task achievement
The essay should focus more on balancing the argument by discussing both sides of animal experimentation in a detailed way. Expand on the reasons and counterarguments to improve the depth of the response.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Try to strengthen your main points with more specific examples and references to studies or evidence for both sides of the argument. This will improve both task response and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing the writer's position effectively.
task achievement
The main points are generally clear and accessible, providing a straightforward argument against animal testing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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