The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
The diagram illustrates the way in which
bricks
are produced for the building industry.
Overall
, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with the clay
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gotten by
digger
Correct article usage
the digger
show examples
and ending
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the product’s delivery. First of all, clay is dug up from land by a huge digger and
then
broken down through
metal
Correct article usage
a metal
show examples
grid.
Due to
this
sand and water
mixed
Add a missing verb
were mixed
show examples
in it, after
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it rolled with a roller. Afterwards, the mixture of sand and water
put
Add a missing verb
was put
show examples
on
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
show examples
cutter to form their shape,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
it
placed
Add a missing verb
was placed
show examples
in a mold to obtain
bricks
. In the next stage,
bricks
dried in an oven
about
Change preposition
for about
show examples
24-48 hours.
Following
this
subsequently
, they are heated in
kiln
Correct article usage
a kiln
show examples
at moderate with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
( ranging
870
Change preposition
from 870
show examples
to 1300).After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
it went through
cooling
Correct article usage
a cooling
show examples
chamber for 2-3 days. In the final stage,
bricks
are packaged one by one and it is delivered by track.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: