The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the building industry.
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The diagram illustrates how the
bricks
Use synonyms
are being manufactured for the building industry that consists of 7 stages.Starting from extracting day and ending with ready
bricks
Use synonyms
for construction. First of all,the clay is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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mined from
earth
Add an article
the earth
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by
digger
Correct article usage
a digger
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and
then
Linking Words
carried to the factory sorting section.
As a result
Linking Words
,the raw clay
being
Wrong verb form
is
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sorted by conveyor from metal grids.Afterwards,sand and water
stir
Wrong verb form
are stirred
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into clay and the ready substance
being
Wrong verb form
is
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shaped similar to
bricks
Use synonyms
in
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
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cutter or mould.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the concrete
briks
Correct your spelling
bricks
going to dry in
oven
Correct article usage
the oven
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approximately for 24-48 hours.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
bricks
Use synonyms
are going to be baked in
kiln
Correct article usage
a kiln
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approximately at 200-980 degrees .
Then
Linking Words
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
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rises from 200-980 degrees to 870-1300 degrees.
Linking Words
Subsequently
Add a comma
Subsequently,
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it
being
Wrong verb form
is
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cooled in
Correct article usage
a colling
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colling
Correct your spelling
cooling
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chamber for 2-3 days.
Finally
Linking Words
,
bricks
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
are
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packed and delivered to
destination
Add an article
the destination
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.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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