Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local culture and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It’s a common belief that
tourism
plays an important role in growing industries fast and developing the economy
word-wide
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world-wide
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.
Nevertheless
, its culture and the
environment
can be affected
due to
the damage
tourism
. From my perspective, I
complete
Change the word
completely
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agree with
this
idea because of
following
Correct article usage
the following
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reasons.
To begin
with, when a large number of visitors come to another place, its culture will be easily changed.
This
can be explained by the fact that each person has
each
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their
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own customs and way of doing things, which can lead to a loss of local identity.
According to
a recent survey from many Australian researchers, in many cities,
due to
tourism
, many local shops and restaurants are closed down and replaced by multinational chain stores.
Thus
, the damage
tourism
causes a large number of disadvantages for the nations, especially
Correct article usage
the disappearing
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disappearing
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disappearance
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its
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of its
show examples
own cultures and customs. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
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top of that, people nowadays care
lessly
Correct your spelling
less
about the
environment
such
as beaches, rivers, etc because of paying too much their concentration
in
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on
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making a lot of money.
This
can be understood by the fact that because
tourism
is increasing significantly, the economy of countries is gradually
improved
Wrong verb form
improving
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, and
this
will make people think that they have to make more and more money to follow trends, and
thus
the
environment
is affected seriously.
For example
, wildlife witnessed many negative impacts because of being lack of human attention. In summary, people should spend time
on
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apply
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caring
much
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apply
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about the
environment
;
otherwise
,
its
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the
show examples
diverse
Replace the word
diversity
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of the ecosystem will be damaged sharply. In conclusion,
tourism
not only affected local cultures but
also
the
diverse
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diversity
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of the habitat. For these reasons, I insist that
tourism
has many negative impacts on people’s
life
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lives
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as well as
the nation’s development.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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task achievement
Task Achievement: Ensure the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While the essay touches upon the negative impact of tourism, it does not adequately provide a balanced view or personal examples to back up the claim.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Work on creating a clearer logical sequence and ensure your paragraphing is appropriate. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded with relevant, supporting details.
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