IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local culture and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It’s a common belief that
tourism
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in growing industries fast and developing the economy
word-wide
Correct your spelling
world-wide
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.
Nevertheless
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, its culture and the
environment
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 can be affected
due to
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 the damage
tourism
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. From my perspective, I
complete
Change the word
completely
show examples
 agree with
this
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 idea because of
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 reasons.
To begin
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 with, when a large number of visitors come to another place, its culture will be easily changed.
This
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 can be explained by the fact that each person has
each
Change the word
their
show examples
 own customs and way of doing things, which can lead to a loss of local identity.
According to
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 a recent survey from many Australian researchers, in many cities,
due to
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tourism
Use synonyms
, many local shops and restaurants are closed down and replaced by multinational chain stores.
Thus
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, the damage
tourism
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 causes a large number of disadvantages for the nations, especially
Correct article usage
the disappearing
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disappearing
Replace the word
disappearance
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its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 own cultures and customs. On
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top of that, people nowadays care
lessly
Correct your spelling
less
 about the
environment
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such
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 as beaches, rivers, etc because of paying too much their concentration
in
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on
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 making a lot of money.
This
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 can be understood by the fact that because
tourism
Use synonyms
 is increasing significantly, the economy of countries is gradually
improved
Wrong verb form
improving
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, and
this
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 will make people think that they have to make more and more money to follow trends, and
thus
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 the
environment
Use synonyms
 is affected seriously.
For example
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, wildlife witnessed many negative impacts because of being lack of human attention. In summary, people should spend time
on
Change preposition
apply
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caring
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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about the
environment
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;
otherwise
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,
its
Change the word
the
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diverse
Replace the word
diversity
show examples
 of the ecosystem will be damaged sharply. In conclusion,
tourism
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 not only affected local cultures but
also
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 the
diverse
Replace the word
diversity
show examples
 of the habitat. For these reasons, I insist that
tourism
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 has many negative impacts on people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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as well as
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 the nation’s development.

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task achievement
Task Achievement: Ensure the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. While the essay touches upon the negative impact of tourism, it does not adequately provide a balanced view or personal examples to back up the claim.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Work on creating a clearer logical sequence and ensure your paragraphing is appropriate. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded with relevant, supporting details.
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