Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There is no denying the fact that nowadays, environmental problems have become a huge concern.
While
it is a commonly held belief that some people claim that the increase in extinction rates is the most important environmental issue we need to take action. There is also
an argument that there are other issues of more concern. This
essay will analyze this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
On one hand, over- loss of special species of plants and animals has a significant impact on our environment. In other words
, a high rate of animal extinction could lead to far-reaching consequences that disrupt and deteriorate the ecological balance. In addition
, the food chain would be broken down for both predators as well as
prey leading to endangering countless species that rely on this
ecosystem for food and shelter. For example
, processes like pollination would be distributed; bess that is
carried out is going to cease, resulting in a decrease in reproduction that forms 80% of plant requirement.
On the other hand
, there are more environmental crises we confront today that demand attention and action to address them. It is possible to say that global warming, air pollution, and climate change we must prioritize because have serious and immediate effects on human beings. Moreover
, the emission of greenhouse gases, the rise in global temperature, and the polluted air that comes from industries endanger the health and well-being of both humans and wildlife. For instance
, Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, is facing a huge problem with air pollution by gas emissions from vehicles. Thus
, many of Jakarta's people have health problems, such
as pneumonia, flu, and so on.
In conclusion, there are no easy answers to this
question. On balance, however
, I tend to believe that animal extinction is dangerous, there are more ecological issues that affect our planet and we need to recognize them to protect the ecosystem from deterioration.Submitted by dentdent4 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
There are issues with your essay's organization, as it contains structural weaknesses which prevent it from flowing smoothly. Logical linking of ideas within paragraphs as well as clear transitions between paragraphs can greatly enhance coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present; however, they could be improved to provide a clearer overview of the essay's main points and a more definitive judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
While there are main points supported by details or examples, the support could be further developed. More thorough explanations and a deeper exploration of the implications could strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
You have attempted to respond to the prompt, and there is an attempt to cover all parts of the task. However, the response needs to address the question more directly and completely, consistently maintaining a focus on the task requirements.
Task Achievement
Ideas are presented, but they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Ensuring that each paragraph conveys a clear main idea with more precise and developed arguments will enhance this aspect of your writing.
Task Achievement
You've included relevant examples, but they can be made more specific and directly linked to the arguments you are making. Developing these examples with more detail can help exemplify your points more effectively.
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