Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that nowadays, environmental problems have become a huge concern.

While

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it is a commonly held belief that some people claim that the increase in extinction rates is the most important environmental issue we need to take action. There is

also

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an argument that there are other issues of more concern.

This

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essay will analyze

this

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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, over- loss of special species of plants and animals has a significant impact on our environment.

In other words

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, a high rate of animal extinction could lead to far-reaching consequences that disrupt and deteriorate the ecological balance.

In addition

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, the food chain would be broken down for both predators

as well as

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prey leading to endangering countless species that rely on

this

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ecosystem for food and shelter.

For example

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, processes like pollination would be distributed; bess

that is

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carried out is going to cease, resulting in a decrease in reproduction that forms 80% of plant requirement.

On the other hand

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, there are more environmental crises we confront today that demand attention and action to address them. It is possible to say that global warming, air pollution, and climate change we must prioritize because have serious and immediate effects on human beings.

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, the emission of greenhouse gases, the rise in global temperature, and the polluted air that comes from industries endanger the health and well-being of both humans and wildlife.

For instance

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, Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, is facing a huge problem with air pollution by gas emissions from vehicles.

Thus

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, many of Jakarta's people have health problems,

such

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as pneumonia, flu, and so on. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to

this

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question. On balance,

however

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, I tend to believe that animal extinction is dangerous, there are more ecological issues that affect our planet and we need to recognize them to protect the ecosystem from deterioration.

dentdent4Fri Jan 12 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

There are issues with your essay's organization, as it contains structural weaknesses which prevent it from flowing smoothly. Logical linking of ideas within paragraphs as well as clear transitions between paragraphs can greatly enhance coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present; however, they could be improved to provide a clearer overview of the essay's main points and a more definitive judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion

While there are main points supported by details or examples, the support could be further developed. More thorough explanations and a deeper exploration of the implications could strengthen your position.

Task Achievement

You have attempted to respond to the prompt, and there is an attempt to cover all parts of the task. However, the response needs to address the question more directly and completely, consistently maintaining a focus on the task requirements.

Task Achievement

Ideas are presented, but they need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Ensuring that each paragraph conveys a clear main idea with more precise and developed arguments will enhance this aspect of your writing.

Task Achievement

You've included relevant examples, but they can be made more specific and directly linked to the arguments you are making. Developing these examples with more detail can help exemplify your points more effectively.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
extinction
habitat loss
ecosystem
food chain
imbalance
interconnected
climate change
pollution
personal actions
policy changes
education
awareness

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