IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the future all cars, buses and dricks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the modern world, vehicles without
drivers
Use synonyms
 have a variety of effects on society that could have both negative and positive effects on our physiological state. I reckon that a crucial number of
people
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 who possess these vehicles will drive their
cars
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 more safely thanks to the security system in these
cars
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whereas
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 the unemployment
rate
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 among the
drivers
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 will certainly increase.
This
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 means that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 of driverless
cars
Use synonyms
 are greater than the drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, the most significant benefit of autonomous
cars
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 is that they provide us with enhanced security. To illustrate, when
people
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 get distracted or exhausted, they can easily cause traffic accidents.
However
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, as far as driverless
cars
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 are concerned, they possess advanced electronic systems that prevent terminal accidents.
Hence
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, the
rate
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 of death and injury primarily absolutely diminishes.
For Instance
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, Mercedes Benz
cars
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 include detectors and systems that warn
drivers
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 in case of accidents or obstacles; thereby, ensuring the security of
people
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 in the car.
On the other hand
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, there are some cons of these vehicles that increase the number of unemployed
people
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, particularly
drivers
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.
In other words
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, seeing that there is no need for taxi or bus
drivers
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, the unemployment
rate
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 will certainly skyrocket.
According to
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 one of the articles that I read; some experts assume that 2 million
people
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 will lose their jobs in Europe
due to
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 autonomous
cars
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. That said, I reckon that there will be always a solution
for
Change preposition
to
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this
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 crucial problem
such
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 as creating new jobs. In conclusion, I will agree that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 a vehicle without
drivers
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 has a non-damaging
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society but
also
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 the unemployment
rate
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 among the
drivers
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 will absolutely increase.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses the topic but could benefit from a clearer structure. Having distinctive paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages helps, but ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas are not mixed. Use a variety of linking phrases to improve cohesion.
task achievement
The task has been responded to, but the exploration of the implications of the main points could be more thorough. Make sure that all parts of the prompt are addressed with sufficient detail and support your points with more specific examples.
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