ln many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the post. ls this a posifive or a negative development?

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Children
Use synonyms
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
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can enjoy
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lots
a lot
show examples
of flexibility and independence in
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
certain aspects of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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in many countries and cultures.
This
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is almost a new trend as previously they were not able to enjoy
such
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leniency. In my opinion,
this
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new trend of providing
children
Use synonyms
Add the preposition
with their
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their
Change the word
the
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freedom
Use synonyms
of thinking
Change preposition
to think
show examples
and doing
things
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at
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own is a positive development.
Although
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there might be some negative aspects of being derailed from their track
due to
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lack of proper guidelines, these can be resolved by endowing
freedom
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at a certain stage when they will be able to distinguish between what is good and harmful.
Firstly
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, rules,
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
and bounds compel a
child
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to be confined to a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
domain of knowledge and abilities. If a
child
Use synonyms
is given enough
freedom
Use synonyms
to explore their interest areas of knowledge and passions, they might be able to accomplish those
things
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pretty easily and with utter satisfaction. Some
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
may like different sports activities, some may like to enjoy
gamings
Correct your spelling
gaming
show examples
,
some
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and some
show examples
other
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others
show examples
may like to solve different types of puzzles. All of those activities are important for
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of their brain functions and
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
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of their abilities. If any parents want their
child
Use synonyms
to learn songs but the
child
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wish
Change the verb form
wishes
show examples
to do something different like gaming, they might not
foce
Correct your spelling
force
face
their
child
Use synonyms
to do
according to
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their wish always.
This
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might result in losing passion
in
Change preposition
for
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such
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acitivities
Correct your spelling
activities
. Maybe the
child
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is going to be a game developer in future. Maybe the
child
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who loves
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
cricket now, will play for the national team and win
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
show examples
one day. So, parents need to have some flexibility regarding these
things
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.
Secondly
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,
freedom
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of thinking induces the growth of different cognitive abilities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
children
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. In many countries, the
currilculumn
Correct your spelling
curriculum
is now designed in
way
Add an article
a way
show examples
to reduce the stress over
children
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and
also
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provide them the leeway to think.
For instance
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: in Japan, students attend a class where they can make different types of crafts folding papers. We all know that
this
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types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
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of crafting is called Origami. When
children
Use synonyms
are given
Use synonyms
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to make
things
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according to
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their
wish
Fix the agreement mistake
wishes
show examples
, they will be able to think differently and
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also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
their puzzle solving
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
will be augmented.
However
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, sometimes giving complete
freedom
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might result in
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
the right track in life and wasting time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
unworthy
things
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. So, they might need some guidelines at some stages of life. But
this
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does not mean that they should always be confined within four walls and do
things
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according to
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what their parents and teachers
what
Correct your spelling
want
show examples
. In conclusion, providing
children
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more
freedom
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than in the past will obviously produce some positive changes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear, logical structure. Each paragraph should address a single main point, which is then elaborated upon with examples or explanations. Aim for clear transitions between paragraphs to ensure the reader can follow your argument easily.
coherence cohesion
It is important to have a clear introduction that sets the scene for your essay, as well as a conclusion that effectively summaries your main points and offers a final thought on the topic. Ensure both are present and add value to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Each main point in your essay should be supported by relevant examples or evidence. This could be hypothetical scenarios, real-life examples, or references to studies that back up your claims.
task achievement
Make sure you have fully answered all parts of the task, showing the examiner that you have a thorough understanding of the topic. Your essay should address the question directly and comprehensively.
task achievement
Your ideas should be expressed clearly and comprehensively, with a focus on maintaining a natural flow of information. Avoid overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples make your arguments more convincing and show that you can apply abstract ideas to real-world contexts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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