In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In always, accommodation is the basic
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for human beings. Here, In some nations, some
people
think that a
house
is crucial for humans compared to renting a
home
. The essay describes what is the
reason
behind
this
and explains the positive situation and development of owning a
house
. To commence with, a fixed
house
gives us an affluent number of facilities to live in with well-being and safety.
For
this
reason
, many individuals always focus on building a
house
with their own
finance
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finances
show examples
or loans even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
takes time.
For example
, In
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
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most of the senior
people
who leave
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
job
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jobs
show examples
and receive
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
pension
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pensions
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, want to make a simple or gorgeous
house
.
As a result
, he can not rethink or pay
money
for renting housing.
In addition
, some
people
think that a
house
is a good investment in a sustainable thing for their family.
In
Change preposition
According
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according to
this
reason
, They prioritise paying wealth or
money
for housing in
a restricted areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
restricted areas
a restricted area
show examples
where they find a happy life. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
they think that a fixed
home
is permanent, they can not change anywhere
otherwise
they need to pay a large portion of
money
every month.
On the other hand
, investing in finance for housingis
apermanent
Correct your spelling
a permanent
permanent
solution to living in one place rather than a renting
home
. In
genuine
Correct word choice
general
show examples
, It is a positive development because they can not think again about moving
house
or
payment
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paying
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money
every month.
Due to
this
reason
, they can
exeggerate
Correct your spelling
exaggerate
how they decorate their
home
in an organised way with a lot of facilities in a town area. To give an example,
to build
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building
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a
house
is a great idea for expressing a fixed identity
as well as
a safeguard for the next generations. After the effect, most
people
want to take a risk even though they need a huge amount of wealth.
Besides
, renting a
house
is better for low cost and do not need to invest a significant amount of fund at one time. The way of an illustration, some individuals who need to relocate for their job perspective, should be renting a
house
as a good opportunity. But on a broad scale, he has to give a large amount of funds
for
this
reason
.
Finally
, he faces several types of detrimental problems to continue his family lifestyle.
To conclude
, though there some demerits to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
a
house
with the support of huge finance, it is a great investment to live better without tension in the long run. Indeed, owning a
house
is a dream for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
.
Submitted by shahid93du.ctg on

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Task Achievement
To enhance the task achievement score, ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should elaborate on clear reasons for the importance of home ownership, the positive and negative aspects, and include specific, detailed examples to support your points. The current response lacks depth and specific examples, which are necessary for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay requires a clear logical structure. Transitions between ideas should be smooth and logical. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. The essay also requires an evident introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of the discussion more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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