Blood sports have become a hot Topic for debate in recent years. As Society develops, it is increasingly seen as an uncivilised activity and cruel to the animals that are killed. All sports animals should be banned discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
sports
animals
are exists
among Wrong verb form
exist
people
in the world. The issues of blood sports
are becoming popular in the entire world. There are a lot of people
ask
about how Correct pronoun usage
who ask
people
to
care with Fix the infinitive
apply
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
moreover
Correct word choice
and moreover
killied
Correct your spelling
kill
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
while
in the sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
animals
. Some of Correct article usage
the comunity
comunity
already Correct your spelling
community
addresed
these issues to be banned. In Correct your spelling
addressed
this
essay, I will discuss both views based on my experience.
First and foremost, there are a lot of a
positive Correct article usage
apply
effect
being held Fix the agreement mistake
effects
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
animals
. It can avoid
Verb problem
prevent
people
from injury in doing sport
. Moreover
, most of the animals
has
Change the verb form
have
a
instinct to play in the competition. The Change the article
an
beneficial
of these Replace the word
benefit
animals
which is utilized by human
in the competition. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
As a result
, people
can create money by doing the
Correct article usage
apply
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
animals
and also
demand of
Change preposition
for
people
who watch these competition
has Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
increase
Change the verb form
increased
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
of
the year. It is evidence that there are television Change preposition
apply
serial
Fix the agreement mistake
serials
in
Discovery Channel Change preposition
on
has
been broadcast about Wrong verb form
that have
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
animals
once a week.
Furthermore
, there is a serious problem to address these issues. Value
of humanity is below Correct article usage
The value
of
human Change preposition
apply
right
. How Fix the agreement mistake
rights
people
cruel to the animals
that is
only for
take their revenue. The higher authority Change preposition
to
need
to prevent Change the verb form
needs
by
developing a regulation about animal abuse. Correct pronoun usage
this by
For instance
, in Indonesia
the community who Add a comma
Indonesia,
being
held Add a missing verb
is being
Change preposition
by sport
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
animals
will be caughted
by authority. Correct your spelling
caught
Moreover
, they will be 2 years in the prision
and Correct your spelling
prison
also
there is a fine. Therefore
, since the regulation of animals
abuse Change the noun form
animal
set
up by the government, the Add a missing verb
was set
sports
animals
events in Indonesia Change the noun form
animal
decrease
significantly.
In summary, most Wrong verb form
have decreased
people
utilze
Correct your spelling
utilise
animal
to create money by crueling Fix the agreement mistake
animals
animal
in Fix the agreement mistake
animals
the
blood Correct article usage
apply
sports
. It
is because the demand Correct pronoun usage
This
of
Change preposition
for
people
who watch these sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
rise
over the period. Wrong verb form
has risen
Nevertheless
, the
animal abuse has to Correct article usage
apply
prevent
by all Wrong verb form
be prevented
people
in the entire world. Specifically, each countries
need to set up Change to a singular noun
country
the
regulation about Correct article usage
apply
sport
animals
to prevent killing animal
.Add an article
an animal
the animal
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coherence cohesion
Focus on clear paragraph structure with distinct introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. The logical ordering of sentences within paragraphs is crucial for clear communication. Try to use cohesive devices (such as conjunctions, pronouns, and linking words) to connect ideas and sentences effectively.
task achievement
Address the task directly by providing a balanced discussion of both views and giving a clear personal opinion. Ensure each paragraph centres around a clear main idea and use examples or evidence to support your points. Refrain from overly repetitive or irrelevant content.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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