Blood sports have become a hot Topic for debate in recent years. As Society develops, it is increasingly seen as an uncivilised activity and cruel to the animals that are killed. All sports animals should be banned discuss both views and give your opinion

#blood #sports #topic #debate #years #society #activity #animals

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Nowadays most

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apply

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sports

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animals

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are exists

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exist

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among

people

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in the world. The issues of blood

sports

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are becoming popular in the entire world. There are a lot of

people

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ask

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who ask

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about how

people

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Fix the infinitive

apply

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care with

animal

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animals

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Linking Words

moreover

Correct word choice

and moreover

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killied

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kill

animal

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animals

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while

Linking Words

in the

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sport

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sports

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animals

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. Some of

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the comunity

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comunity

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community

already

addresed

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addressed

these issues to be banned. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views based on my experience. First and foremost, there are a lot of

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apply

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positive

effect

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effects

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being held

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sport

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sports

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animals

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. It can

avoid

Verb problem

prevent

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people

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from injury in doing

sport

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Moreover

Linking Words

, most of the

animals

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has

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have

show examples

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instinct to play in the competition. The

beneficial

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benefit

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of these

animals

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which is utilized by

human

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humans

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in the competition.

As a result

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people

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can create money by doing

the

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apply

show examples

Use synonyms

sport

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sports

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animals

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and

also

Linking Words

demand

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for

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people

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who watch these

competition

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competitions

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has

increase

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increased

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through out

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throughout

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apply

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the year. It is evidence that there are television

serial

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serials

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Discovery Channel

has

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that have

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been broadcast about

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sport

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sports

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animals

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once a week.

Furthermore

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, there is a serious problem to address these issues.

Value

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The value

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of humanity is below

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apply

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human

right

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rights

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. How

people

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cruel to the

animals

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that is

Linking Words

only

for

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take their revenue. The higher authority

need

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needs

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to prevent

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this by

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developing a regulation about animal abuse.

For instance

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, in

Indonesia

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Indonesia,

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the community who

being

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is being

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held

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by sport

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sport

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sports

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animals

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will be

caughted

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caught

by authority.

Moreover

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, they will be 2 years in the

prision

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prison

and

also

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there is a fine.

Therefore

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, since the regulation of

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animals

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animal

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abuse

set

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was set

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up by the government, the

sports

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animals

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animal

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events in Indonesia

decrease

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have decreased

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significantly. In summary, most

people

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utilze

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utilise

animal

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animals

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to create money by crueling

animal

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animals

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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blood

sports

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Correct pronoun usage

This

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is because the demand

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for

show examples

people

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who watch these

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sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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rise

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has risen

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over the period.

Nevertheless

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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animal abuse has to

prevent

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be prevented

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by all

people

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in the entire world. Specifically, each

countries

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country

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need to set up

the

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apply

show examples

regulation about

sport

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animals

Use synonyms

to prevent killing

animal

Add an article

an animal

the animal

show examples

Submitted by haloalwan on Sat Nov 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Focus on clear paragraph structure with distinct introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. The logical ordering of sentences within paragraphs is crucial for clear communication. Try to use cohesive devices (such as conjunctions, pronouns, and linking words) to connect ideas and sentences effectively.

task achievement

Address the task directly by providing a balanced discussion of both views and giving a clear personal opinion. Ensure each paragraph centres around a clear main idea and use examples or evidence to support your points. Refrain from overly repetitive or irrelevant content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
60
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Blood sports have become a hot Topic for debate in recent years. As Society develops, it is increasingly seen as an uncivilised activity and cruel to the animals that are killed. All sports animals should be banned discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The government should control the internet to reduce cybercrime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Your next door neighbour own a small dog that bark throughout day and night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Your reason for writing. What you would like to happen. A nice respectful style.

Students should pay full cost for their own study because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

space exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. to what extend do you agree or disagree

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as Important to a child’ development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?