Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?
There is little doubt that almost all nations face environmental setbacks.
This
problem occurs because of big enterprises' ignorant ways of operating their businesses and therefore
should be tackled by governments by strictly regulating their operations.
Firstly
, one of the main causes of ecological problems is companies' ignorance of the environmental aspects of their business processes. For instance
, many factories such
as chemical suppliers and textile producers in the industrial area near Jakarta release their wastes without filters to the nearest rivers and release significant amounts of carbon footprints. The irresponsibilities of these entities lead to natural disasters like severe floods on rainy days and terrible air quality in their surroundings. Therefore
, those ignorant companies are one of the main causes of a damaged environment.
On the other hand
, the solution can be done by authorised institutions that coerce big corporations to apply green field
practices through regulations. Correct your spelling
greenfield
This
can force owners to transform their businesses to be more environmentally friendly by complying with the regulations. For example
, governments can regulate factories like textile producers in the suburbs of Jakarta to filter their industrial wastes into the rivers to prevent further
environmental degradation, otherwise
, they will be terminated. If their companies' continuation is threatened, big corporations will comply with the demands of the regulators to ensure sustainability and shift to green work practices.
To conclude
, the ecological problems that most countries have undergone are more likely to be caused by corporations' irresponsible business processes. Nevertheless
, the authority can release regulations forcing environmentally damaging businesses to transform into sustainable practices.Submitted by dandelionandburdock on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. While your introduction and conclusion are present, the body paragraphs could use clearer topic sentences and transitions to improve logical flow
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more in-depth analysis and varied supporting details. Some ideas are mentioned without full exploration or example to firmly establish their relevance and impact.
task achievement
While you have responded to the task by identifying causes and suggesting solutions, your response could be more comprehensive by discussing a wider range of causes and solutions. Aim for a more detailed development of ideas that address the prompt fully.
task achievement
Focus on clarity in presenting your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph clearly communicates a single main idea and that your argument is easy to follow from beginning to end.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. The use of generic examples limits the effectiveness of your arguments. Tailoring examples specifically to the points you're making can greatly enhance the informative quality of your essay.
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