Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

#damage #countries

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There is little doubt that almost all nations face environmental setbacks.

This

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problem occurs because of big enterprises' ignorant ways of operating their businesses and

therefore

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should be tackled by governments by strictly regulating their operations.

Firstly

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, one of the main causes of ecological problems is companies' ignorance of the environmental aspects of their business processes.

For instance

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, many factories

such

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as chemical suppliers and textile producers in the industrial area near Jakarta release their wastes without filters to the nearest rivers and release significant amounts of carbon footprints. The irresponsibilities of these entities lead to natural disasters like severe floods on rainy days and terrible air quality in their surroundings.

Therefore

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, those ignorant companies are one of the main causes of a damaged environment.

On the other hand

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, the solution can be done by authorised institutions that coerce big corporations to apply

green field

Correct your spelling

greenfield

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practices through regulations.

This

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can force owners to transform their businesses to be more environmentally friendly by complying with the regulations.

For example

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, governments can regulate factories like textile producers in the suburbs of Jakarta to filter their industrial wastes into the rivers to prevent

further

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environmental degradation,

otherwise

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, they will be terminated. If their companies' continuation is threatened, big corporations will comply with the demands of the regulators to ensure sustainability and shift to green work practices.

To conclude

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, the ecological problems that most countries have undergone are more likely to be caused by corporations' irresponsible business processes.

Nevertheless

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, the authority can release regulations forcing environmentally damaging businesses to transform into sustainable practices.

Submitted by dandelionandburdock on Sat Nov 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. While your introduction and conclusion are present, the body paragraphs could use clearer topic sentences and transitions to improve logical flow

coherence cohesion

Develop main points with more in-depth analysis and varied supporting details. Some ideas are mentioned without full exploration or example to firmly establish their relevance and impact.

task achievement

While you have responded to the task by identifying causes and suggesting solutions, your response could be more comprehensive by discussing a wider range of causes and solutions. Aim for a more detailed development of ideas that address the prompt fully.

task achievement

Focus on clarity in presenting your ideas. Ensure that each paragraph clearly communicates a single main idea and that your argument is easy to follow from beginning to end.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. The use of generic examples limits the effectiveness of your arguments. Tailoring examples specifically to the points you're making can greatly enhance the informative quality of your essay.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

industrialization
habitat destruction
urbanization
overpopulation
overexploitation
deforestation
biodiversity
waste management
fossil fuels
air pollution
climate change
renewable energy
sustainable agriculture
recycling systems
international cooperation
conservation

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Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Spoken communication is more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people think thatonline reading materials are better for children. others argues that traditional paper based on resources are better.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?