IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The plans below show a student accommodation buildings 2010 and now.

#plans #show #student #accommodation #buildings
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
two maps illustrate student accommodation constructions from 2010 to the present.
Overall
, it can be seen that the most obvious changes were more buildings being constructed and reduced the size of the
garden
.
It is clear that
garden
 areas surrounded on the upper and lower side of the buildings
along with
 a
garden
 next to the living room in 2010
however
, the lower side has been reconstructed into a car parking near the entry.
Furthermore
, two bedrooms replaced the previous living room and a
garden
 nearby,
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
 of 3 bedrooms on the top of the map and the middle one removed the blocks between the bedroom on the right
together with
 a
garden
 close to it.
In addition
, a new en-suite room has been built in front of the bedroom
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
facing the main entrance with a long hallway in past. Apart from that, other facilities had not changed during the years
such
 as bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen or social area.
Submitted by llavina61 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure you include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Without a clear conclusion summarizing the changes, the response feels incomplete.
logical structure
Work on organizing your essay into clear, logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should follow the same theme.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or data where possible. This could include quantitative changes or more detailed descriptions of the developments.
complete response
Make sure to respond to all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay should comprehensively address the changes in the student accommodation between 2010 and the present, but some details are missing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by providing comparisons and contrasts between the two maps with a strong emphasis on how the different components are related or have evolved.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate the changes that have occurred. For instance, quantifying how much the garden size has reduced or specific structural changes to particular buildings could enhance the descriptiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: