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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing important. What problems dose this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

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Nowadays, the decrease in the production of clean
water
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 has become a widespread controversy
due to
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 the side effects that it causes,
such
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 as health issues.
Therefore
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, it's important to desalinate
seawater
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 to increase the supply of fresh
water
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. One of the common problems that contaminated
water
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 causes is health problems.
This
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 is because human organs are used to clean
water
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, which will make the body reject it and get affected by the diseases transmitted through contaminated
water
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.
Therefore
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, it will definitely spread diseases
such
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 as cholera, typhoid, and gastrointestinal infections.
In addition
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, agriculture relies heavily on fresh
water
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 to produce nutrients.
Thus
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, in
this
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 case, it will cause a decrease in crop production and harm the lives of humans and animals. To illustrate, recent studies have shown that agriculture uses most of the world's freshwater, and
water
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 scarcity can significantly reduce crop yields, threatening food security. To solve these challenges, governments need to desalinate
seawater
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.
This
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 means that governments should invest in desalination machines and advanced technologies to provide additional resources for clean
water
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, especially in coastal areas. Thereby, it can alleviate the
water
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 shortage, especially since the sea is an endless source. To be more clear, a study focusing on
seawater
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 desalination in Arab countries, including Algeria, indicates that desalination has become an essential solution to address
water
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 shortages, considering the inexhaustible nature of
seawater
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 as a resource. In conclusion, the increase in pure
water
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 is a serious concern because it will harm both humans and animals
due to
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 the decrease
of
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in
show examples
 crop yields. Governments should put the effort and money into desalinating ocean
water
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 to bridge the gap in providing clean
water
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.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the issue you will discuss, but it could benefit from a more explicit statement of the problems caused by water scarcity.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points are elaborated fully with detailed explanations. For example, explore more consequences of water contamination on human or animal health.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay and enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, but you could strengthen it by reiterating the importance of action on a global scale beyond just your proposed solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provided a logical and clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
You presented relevant examples that support your main arguments effectively, such as the health issues linked to contaminated water and the impact on agriculture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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