The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people believe that the crucial role of educating kids to cooperate is in club athletics at
school
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
statement,
although
Linking Words
in
this
Linking Words
essay I will explain how can team sports increase the awareness of working
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
in a
group
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the
competition
Use synonyms
between plenty of groups leads to working together to be the winner.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they need to put strategies and techniques that need to do well in the
competition
Use synonyms
so that encourages them to work in a
group
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, every club need a leader who encourages his
group
Use synonyms
to work hard
although
Linking Words
they need to be in a deal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, After they do the strategies they need to play and exercise more to get ready for the
competition
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, now the children are ready to win but here in the real
competition
Use synonyms
they will know and understand who will be in a
group
Use synonyms
rather than who will be not helpful.
For example
Linking Words
, In a football match, they need to be united to achieve goals and to decrease the chance of being the winner.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the numerous sports which are played in
school
Use synonyms
seek to improve everyone to be involved in the
group
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, students in
school
Use synonyms
want to get a high degree in all subjects that they learn so they seek to do much more in every subject that worked in.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sports is one of their subjects so they will do much more to have a great degree.
In addition
Linking Words
, some people are not capable of working performance in a
group
Use synonyms
but when they play they naturally understand how the team is more helpful.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
has a significant role in helping students and increasing their criteria in social content.
However
Linking Words
, we can not dismiss the role of their parent because they are
also
Linking Words
involved in their education.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a relevant response to the task, but some ideas could be developed further for clarity and depth. Make sure each point you make directly supports your thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. Some transitions are abrupt, making it harder for the reader to follow your argument. Using linking words can enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant but could be more detailed. For instance, elaborating on how teamwork leads to success in specific situations would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is a strong start.
task achievement
You recognize the importance of both teamwork and individual contributions, which shows a well-rounded perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: