The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recently, the topic related to

mobiles phone

Fix the agreement mistake

mobile phones

show examples

and smoking

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

widely debated. Some

people

Use synonyms

claim that mobile

phones

Use synonyms

should be forbidden

due to

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

antisocial

feature

Fix the agreement mistake

features

show examples

as smoking. Personally, I partly agree with the stated view for some reasons, which I will discuss in

this

Linking Words

essay. First and foremost, there is no denying that mobile

phones

Use synonyms

, as the amazing invention of

this

Linking Words

era,

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

about several positive outcomes for the public. In fact, mobile

phones

Use synonyms

are now useful and

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

for almost every career in today’s world because of

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

multitasking and portability.

For example

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

iPhone 15 - the newest and most modern mobile phone by Apple company, is now able to handle most of the tasks that used to be completed by a computer

such

Linking Words

as word processing or image editing.

People

Use synonyms

no longer need to bring paper materials or a heavy laptop with them to work office or school.

As a result

Linking Words

, banning mobile

phones

Use synonyms

will lead to serious inconvenience, in which lack of effective communication might be the biggest influence on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is important to remember that everything has both sides, including mobile

phones

Use synonyms

As smoking

Change preposition

Smoking

show examples

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

show examples

phone creates an addiction, which makes

people

Use synonyms

feel tired and exhausted without using

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

This

Linking Words

means individuals might struggle

dealing

Change the verb form

to deal

show examples

with the situation

not

Change preposition

of not

show examples

using mobile

phones

Use synonyms

. Particularly, children who overuse mobile

phones

Use synonyms

may spend more time on entertainment and recreational

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

, rather than for educational purposes.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they might lose their focus on studying and playing sports, which has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

detrimental damage on their physical and mental health. Eventually, it is essential for

people

Use synonyms

to control and limit the time usage of

this

Linking Words

technological device. In conclusion, it is my belief that mobile

phones

Use synonyms

will have both beneficial and detrimental effects.

While

Linking Words

I recognize the possible disadvantages of using mobile

phones

Use synonyms

, I consider it to be a positive development

overall

Linking Words

Soobinsj13 Sun Nov 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay follows a clear, logical structure. Your essay showed cohesion and was easy to follow, but sometimes the flow between ideas could be improved for better coherence. Transition words and phrases can help to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.

task achievement

Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples to support your main points. While the ideas were relevant, they could have been illustrated more convincingly with the inclusion of specific instances or data.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Practice 1: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter, •describe the situation •explain why you cannot continue at this time •say what action you would like to take You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any ad
My name is Marco Dimonaco and I am writing to you in regards at the course that i am doing at Cambridge institute in Perth. This course named Busnisses and Manager is running every week day from 4PM to 6PM. As you may noticed, in the last days i could not assist to the class because my job is getting more and more busy. As a result, my boss increase the amount of hours in my schedule. Which means, that i cannot asisst to the class at five in the afternoon. I used to managed to assist to my work and the class but i can not handle anymore. I am physical tired and also mentally too.
5
band
A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
When it comes to the new era, it is emphasised that background is better to show people value than other factors which relate to good personalities. The writer strongly approves of this notion due to the upper class has a large influence in many aspects as well as society no longer respects traditional values.
8
band
Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .
In the contemporary epoch of globalization, it has been witnessed that the standards of athletics have changed. A wide range of individuals believe that to be a successful player you should have superior physical strength. While others are convinced that mental strength is more crucial. In this context, both arguments will be elucidated.
6
band
Some people believe that children learn better when they are placed in classes with children of similar academic abilities. Others believe that children learn better when they are in classes with children representing a diverse range of academic abilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is debatable for some people about the assumption of which situation could the children learn better. Some believe students in classes with similar academic abilities would be more beneficial in learning, while others believe that different academic capabilities will bring a more diverse perspective on how children study. This essay will elaborate more on these two points of view.
6
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, the acceptance of harsh situations including job satisfaction and inadequate money has been the subject of debate in society. Many individuals think it is a better idea to adapt to accept their problems. However, others argue they should not accept issues and they would try to promote their position. In this essay, both sides will be discussed. I personally believe people should always try to make progress in their lives.

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that physical strength is more important fi for success in sport, while others think that mental strength is mort important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

Some people believe that children learn better when they are placed in classes with children of similar academic abilities. Others believe that children learn better when they are in classes with children representing a diverse range of academic abilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.