Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

Recent years have witnessed significant changes in living

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

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. In the past, some elderly

people

liked to live with their adult children,

while

nowaways

Correct your spelling

nowadays

now aways

the majority of older

people

prefer to live in the live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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retirement communities with other

people

Overall

, I tend to believe

thay

Correct your spelling

that

ther

Correct your spelling

there

are more benefits outweigh drawbacks.

Then

this

essay, I will give my explanations. One obvious issue with living with their adult children is that it might affect relationships between family members.

For example

, elderly

people

usually have a stable work and rest time, because they have a stable pension, not need

worry

Fix the infinitive

to worry

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quality

Change preposition

about quality

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of life,

instead

, they spend more time on personal hobbies and healthy

diet

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diets

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Correct word choice

and seek

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seek

Wrong verb form

seeking

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the best way to boost their physical and mental health. In terms of adult children, face

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fierce competition in career development, they have many

workload

Change to a plural noun

workloads

show examples

, so they have to work a long time and stay up late to finish the task, so when they come back home or when they get up another day, it is uncertain. Living together will

Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on Sun Nov 26 2023

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structure

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, including distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. This will aid in presenting your ideas coherently.

introduction/conclusion

Develop the introduction and conclusion more thoroughly. Both components should clearly set the stage and sum up your argument, respectively, without introducing new points in the conclusion.

content

Support each main point with relevant examples or explanations to strengthen your argument. These can be drawn from your own experiences, observations, or other credible sources.

task response

Address the question directly and make sure that your response covers all parts of the task prompt. Aim for a balanced discussion if the question asks for an evaluation of positive or negative developments.

paragraphing

In your body paragraphs, use a clear topic sentence to indicate the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that wraps up the point being discussed.

language

Regarding grammar and vocabulary, use a variety of complex structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic ability, but ensure accuracy to maintain the clarity of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

177 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

80.Some people beleive that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages

In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?