Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #retirement #communities #adult #children #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Recent years have witnessed significant changes in living

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

. In the past, some elderly

people

liked to live with their adult children,

while

nowaways

Correct your spelling

nowadays

now aways

the majority of older

people

prefer to live in the live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

retirement communities with other

people

Overall

, I tend to believe

thay

Correct your spelling

that

ther

Correct your spelling

there

are more benefits outweigh drawbacks.

Then

this

essay, I will give my explanations. One obvious issue with living with their adult children is that it might affect relationships between family members.

For example

, elderly

people

usually have a stable work and rest time, because they have a stable pension, not need

worry

Fix the infinitive

to worry

show examples

quality

Change preposition

about quality

show examples

of life,

instead

, they spend more time on personal hobbies and healthy

diet

Fix the agreement mistake

diets

show examples

Correct word choice

and seek

show examples

seek

Wrong verb form

seeking

show examples

the best way to boost their physical and mental health. In terms of adult children, face

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fierce competition in career development, they have many

workload

Change to a plural noun

workloads

show examples

, so they have to work a long time and stay up late to finish the task, so when they come back home or when they get up another day, it is uncertain. Living together will

Submitted by xueyinggao2023 on Sun Nov 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, including distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. This will aid in presenting your ideas coherently.

introduction/conclusion

Develop the introduction and conclusion more thoroughly. Both components should clearly set the stage and sum up your argument, respectively, without introducing new points in the conclusion.

content

Support each main point with relevant examples or explanations to strengthen your argument. These can be drawn from your own experiences, observations, or other credible sources.

task response

Address the question directly and make sure that your response covers all parts of the task prompt. Aim for a balanced discussion if the question asks for an evaluation of positive or negative developments.

paragraphing

In your body paragraphs, use a clear topic sentence to indicate the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that wraps up the point being discussed.

language

Regarding grammar and vocabulary, use a variety of complex structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic ability, but ensure accuracy to maintain the clarity of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

177 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
Despite the popularity of universities, it is of the opinion that vocational training should be encouraged to help alleviate the shortage of skilled workers in the workforce. Personally, I hold a different perspective on this notion.
5.5
band
Many newspapers, magazines and television programmes make money by reporting on the private lives of public figures such as politicians, sports personalities and entertainers. While the media's right to freedom of expression should be defended, the media should not intrude into people's private affairs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It has been increasingly common for the media to make public the private lives of the elite and celebrities against their will. Some may argue that such practice is warranted owing to the media’s freedom of speech, while others disagree strongly with it because it is a violation of personal privacy.
6.5
band
With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
With the rapid advancement of technology, numerous robotic assistants are now capable of performing tasks traditionally done by humans. Despite the potential benefits of reducing the workforce, the drawbacks, such as a rising unemployment rate and substantial costs, significantly outweigh the positives.
4
band
Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Due to the advancement of technology nowadays, works now can be done at home instead of offices and many people think that this phenomenom should be encouraged because of its benefits. Personally, i firmly agree with this point of view for its convenient and effective.
4.5
band
Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Before the advancement of technology people used to utilize bicycles to travel from one place to other. These days many people using other transport methods as compared to bicycle and the population can be encouraged to use bicycle to commute at their work places and perform other tasks. This essay will outline two causes and how people can be motivated to use bicycles and at last I will provide my experience.

Nowadays, some older people choose to live in the retirement communities with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is it a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.