Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,more and more
people
with
health
problems
are trying alternative medicines and treatments rather than getting information about their
health
from the usual doctors.
Although
it has positive and negative developments positive as it can save time,negative development
such
as it can lead to more
health
problems
. On the one hand, when
people
prefer to try alternative medicine and treatments, there are many positive sides. First of all, if individuals have hectic schedules and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have no free time to visit the doctor, it would be easier and more convenient to search it on the
Internet
.As it has a lot of information about how to solve
health
problems
.
For example
, nowadays
people
are busy and
that is
why it is comfortable to search for information on the
Internet
.
Thus
for these reasons, it could be beneficial.
On the other hand
, if
people
do not visit to doctors get treatments it can lead to
anegative
Correct your spelling
a negative
effect.
Firstly
, they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not well-chosen treatment medicines because
internet
sources are not always reliable.
As a result
, their
health
condition gets worse
also
it can lead to more serious
health
problems
.
For instance
, one medicine which was very well-known on the
internet
as well as
when
people
buy
this
kind of medicine they get more
problems
with their
health
even leading to death.
Therefore
for
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
reasons, it has negative consequences . In conclusion,
this
trend has positive effects like it can save time but I personally think that it fully has negative development because from
this
people
can get more
health
problems
even death.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Try to make your main points more distinct and clearly separated. Each paragraph should have a clear and unique main point that is supported by examples or explanations.
support
Enhance coherence by ensuring that all your main points are backed up with specific and well-elaborated examples or explanations. This will help your essay feel more supported and cohesive.
language
Consider varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more dynamic and engaging.
accuracy
Check your grammar and punctuation to increase clarity. For example, breaking up longer sentences can make your writing clearer.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position on the issue.
content
You've addressed both positive and negative aspects of the topic, which shows a balanced approach.
structure
The essay's structure is logical, making it easy to follow your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: