An Australian company offers money to foreign students to study in Australia. Write a letter to the company: -introduce yourself -say what you want to study -how the money will help you

Dear Sir, I am writing
this
letter apropos the
scholarship
of $20000, which is being offered by your Hilton Education Era Company. I found your website link on my university
scholarship
tab. Let me apprise you with my introduction, I am Jacob, a resident of William Street Colony, New Zealand. I have completed my
Master’
Correct your spelling
Master’s
show examples
degree in Business Studies with 8.5 CGP and scored first place and a gold medal at the Saint John Business University of Auckland.
Further
, I want to join the PMP, Project Management Professional course because
this
course can help me join international companies and a pragmatic knowledge of project handling and preparation. Having said that, as
this
course is in demand, it has a total cost of $ 28000 and I just have $8000.
Therefore
, it is being requested that kindly allow me a chance to grab
this
scholarship
and inform me if there is any test for
this
. I assure you that I will never waste a single penny of
this
scholarship
and it will be a great help to ensure the efficacy of my professional career. I will be very beholden to you for
this
and hope for a quick response from your side. Yours faithfully, Jacob Brown.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
There are a few minor grammatical mistakes such as 'Master’s degree' should be before 'Business Studies' and the use of CGP instead of CGPA.
coherence cohesion
A brief introduction of your past achievements should be included to strengthen your case.
suitable writing tone
Your letter is very polite and follows a formal tone, which is suitable for this type of request.
single idea per paragraph
Your paragraphs are mostly well-organized, each focusing on a single idea, which enhances readability.
logical structure
The logical structure of your letter is clear, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: