In many countries , people are now living longer the ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for the governments. Other people think there are benefits for society has more elderly people. To what extent the advantage of having ageing population outweigh the disadvantages.
Some public suggested that elderly can teach the young generation
knowleges
and Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
experiences
that they lack of
. Remove the preposition
apply
While
some people believe the economics will be greatly affected due to
lack of labours
. In my opinion, I agree with the second Correct your spelling
labourers
view point
.
On the one hand, the economy of the country will be greatly affected. Correct your spelling
viewpoint
Human
would Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
graudurally
choose to retire when reaching the age of 60. The market will Correct your spelling
gradually
lost
a bunch of efficient and Change the verb form
lose
be lost
talent
workers, Replace the word
talented
while
no one cover up the loss of labour. When there is insufficient labour, the company may close up and the economics
of the country will be poor. Replace the word
economy
For instance
, in Japan, the ageing problem is serious
that the government can foresee there will not be enough Rephrase
so serious
worker
in the market in 2031 and Japan's national profit will decrease Fix the agreement mistake
workers
30
% Change preposition
by 30
due to
limited labours
.
Fix the agreement mistake
labour
On the other hand
, some people believe that Correct article usage
the elderlys
elderlys
can share their Correct your spelling
elderly
elders
experiences
and remind the young generation not to get into those bad behavior
. Change the determiner
that bad behavior
Elderys
may have the Correct your spelling
Elderly
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
on
taking drugs or Change preposition
of
alchols
, they can teach the young generation away from things not good for them and give suggestions on what they can do when they feel Correct your spelling
alcohol
alcohols
stressful
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
stressed
despite
the elderly can share Change preposition
apply
experiences
. I believe that ageing
problem can greatly affect Correct article usage
the ageing
Correct article usage
the ecnomics
ecnomics
of a country.Correct your spelling
economics
Submitted by phoebeyeung5283 on
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task achievement
The introduction should provide a clear foundation for the discussion by paraphrasing the task prompt and stating a clear opinion or thesis. Try to enhance the complexity of your ideas rather than presenting them in a simplistic manner.
task achievement
Ensure the main body paragraphs focus on separate ideas and discuss them in-depth with clear examples. The use of specific, detailed examples is crucial for substantiating your points. Consider developing your arguments further with more varied and detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a logical structure for your essay. Ideas should flow logically from one to the next, with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and cohesive devices to link them.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that both the introduction and conclusion are present and functional. Your introduction should set the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion should provide a clear and concise summary of your points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Expand upon your main points to support your arguments effectively. Avoid generalizations and strive to discuss each point thoroughly with relevant examples or evidence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.