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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.

The pie charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Oman and Spain in 2005 and projections for 2055.
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The two pie charts illustrate the
Use synonyms
populations'
Fix the agreement mistake
population'
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 ages of Oman and Spain in 2005 and future projections for 2055. Overview, in Oman country, the number of seniors and
adolescents
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adolescent
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populations
Use synonyms
 will
estimately
Correct your spelling
ultimately
increase
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 whilst, the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 0-14 will be decreased by 2055. Meanwhile, In
spain
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Spain
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, it was expected in 2055 that the
age
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 0-14 and 60+
years
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 old
populations
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 will experience a downfall and only
age
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 15-59
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will
increase
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 in terms of the number of
populations
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. For Oman in 2005, the
citizens
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with
Change preposition
aged
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age
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 0-14
years
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 old were equal
with
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to
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 those
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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aged 60+
years
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, both
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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accounted for 48%. Meanwhile, it was only 4% of the
Use synonyms
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
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 15-59
years
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 old.
However
Linking Words
, it was projected that in 2055, there will be an
increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the number of senior
citizens
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 and those
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
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 15-59, with approximately
9
Correct article usage
a 9
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% and 2%
increase
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 respectively. In Spain, it was mostly populated by senior
citizens
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 which accounted
over
Change preposition
for over
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 50% of the total
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populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
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 in 2005. For ages 0-14 and 15-59, there were only 14% and 24% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it was predicted that
citizens
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 with
age
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 15-59 will have an
unpward
Correct your spelling
upward
 trend
by
Change preposition
of
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 18% whilst, both seniors and juniors
populations
Use synonyms
 will experience a downfall by 16% and 2% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words populations, increase, age, years, citizens with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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