*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many educational fields use
computers
and
technology
. Some
people
believe
that is
a good thing for humans,
while
others worry that
this
trend will bring some negative consequences.
This
essay will discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sides of
this
argument, and I agree that using
computers
and
technology
is a positive trend for the following reasons. On the one hand,
computers
and
technology
make
people
more efficient and more convenient.
For example
, at present
people
can collect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information from
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
or online
libaries
Correct your spelling
libraries
easily and quickly.
Moreover
, using
computers
in the academic field is convenient for some
people
,
such
as workers,
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
can attend online courses, no matter the time and the location.
On the other hand
, in academic fields using
technology
indeed may bring some negative results.
Firstly
, some individuals rely on
technology
too much, which leads to a lack of abilities of independent thinking.
For instance
, more and more students use applications,
such
as Google Translate and ChatGPT, to finish their academic missions.
As a result
, for society, when these
graguates
Correct your spelling
graduates
go into
workforce
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the workforce
show examples
, they may be less competitive than those who do not rely on
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
and
technology
. In conclusion, there will be more and more technological applications in all fields of
people
's life. In my opinion, using
computers
in education is a positive trend. As long as the government and school build up some regulations to improve these problems.
Submitted by Nini on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the overall structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon. This could involve a more detailed explanation or argumentation around the points made.
coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion further to clearly indicate your position on the topic and effectively summarize the key points of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your main points by including more specific and relevant examples that effectively illustrate and support your argument.
task achievement
Aim to fully address the prompt by discussing both views presented in the question and by articulating your own opinion more distinctly throughout the essay.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas further by ensuring that each is explained fully and directly related to the question. Avoid making generalized or unclear statements that do not directly answer the question.
task achievement
Increase the specificity of your examples by going beyond general statements. Use concrete and detailed illustrations to add weight to your arguments and clarify your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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