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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the main purpose of schooling is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to begin them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #purpose #children #citizens #workers #individuals
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The main goal of the education system is a difficult issue worldwide.
This
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 author agrees with the former viewpoint that students should be encouraged to conform so as to sew that primary function, schools
also
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 offer their children the opportunities to transform their lives by teaching them new skills. One of the primary issues is that schools tend to prioritize teaching content that aligns with standardized exams. It must be recognized that
this
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 approach leads to a narrow focus on memorization and regurgitation of information, rather than fostering critical thinking and analytical skills. In
this
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 situation, students become adept at recalling facts but struggle to apply knowledge or think creatively. Take the Cambodian school system as an example. They rely on rote - memorization to pass tests and do not encourage independent thinking, resulting in students lacking research methods at the tertiary level.
In addition
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, schools teach kids social and ethical principles
as well as
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 has to get
along with
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 other kids.
For example
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, school prodigy or scientist projects teach children how to collaborate with others, deal with disagreements, and work hard to help the team succeed.
Furthermore
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, it provides a platform for kids to discuss their talents and develop them under high supervision to become athletes or artists.
Consequently
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, balancing a nation’s employment element and bolstering its management. In conclusion, the main benefit of education can be seen as enhancing children’s future prospects,
such
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 as improving their social and cognitive skills or helping them to grow up to be well-adjusted members of society.
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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and vocabulary to enhance clarity and precision in your arguments.
task achievement
Elaborate more on your ideas to provide deeper insights, and ensure every point is clearly connected to the central argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, both of which are clearly presented.
relevant specific examples
The main ideas are relevant to the topic and are supported by specific examples, such as the reference to the Cambodian school system.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • citizenship
  • vocational skills
  • social responsibility
  • teamwork
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • personal growth
  • balanced approach
  • social skills
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • dissatisfaction
  • innovation
  • real-world challenges
  • community integration
  • moral and ethical education
  • positive contributions
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