Some believe that going to university is the best route to a successful career. While others believe that is it better to start work straight after high school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In
this
current age of development, Education has become a peculiar need for an individual to sustain a healthy life. Certain communities have thought that pursuing higher studies might lead them to travel through their success path. In contrast
, few folk have a counterproductive opinion on this
statement, that is
to start an employment career is more appreciatable than enrolling in higher studies to move their economy towards upside. This
essay exaggerates both views of the above reasons with relevant examples.
To begin
with, the current generation shows a keen interest in feeding them with enormous knowledge as they believe this
would help them to reach their target efficiently. Besides
, the increasing rate of education might reflect in society's well-being where public practice living based on social ethics. Additionally
, higher literacy also
lends a helping hand to an individual to achieve greater heights in their career which helps them gain a plethora of insights to groom their professional path. To give a good example, In recent times, most of the corporate industries have persuaded direct recruitments of higher positions by considering the candidate's higher qualification profiles. Thus
the above explanation depicts the pros of doing a master's study after completing high school.
On the other hand
, certain populations who are on the edge of poverty believe that taking up a job helps them to improve their status and individuality, where they can create a free space to divide into various aspects of life. Furthermore
, there are a few groups of the public who presume that undergoing practical learning in their workplace is much better than the syllabified curriculum. henceforth moving to the employment phase after schooling helps to get more practical insights based on the domain they are working in and it also
provides them self self-dependent qualities.
In conclusion, either pursuing higher studies or choosing a work career depends on people's perspective they can select their way according to
their needs. Moreover
, it is important to stay more reliant throughout their path to gain a successful reward.Submitted by suwaashaperumal on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear argument with both views and a conclusion stated. However, the introduction and conclusion could be developed further to summarize the main points more effectively and provide a clearer stance. Aim to engage the reader with a hook in the introduction and finish with a strong, memorable statement in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a basic logical structure, but it could benefit from clearer paragraphing and topic sentences. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. The transition between ideas could be smoother, which will improve the essay's overall readability.
Task Achievement
While you have attempted to support your main points, the essay lacks specific examples. Using concrete examples to illustrate your points is essential. Try to incorporate real-life examples, data, or research studies to substantiate your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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