IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

One
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 thing
that is
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 sure is that
,
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apply
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 immigration has a great influence on society. The origins of immigration don’t date back to nowadays but men always immigrated. There can be different reasons why
people
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 move away from their homes to new places where they can live.
Firstly
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,
one
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 point could be the fact that there are countries in which there is war, so
people
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 go away to save their lives.
For example
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,
people
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 who lived in Ukraine were forced to move away from
one
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 day to another,
due to
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 the war between Russia and their nation.
Secondly
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, some nations are poor and the inhabitants can’t lead a good lifestyle,
such
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 as in some places of the African continent, like Malawi and Somalia.
Nevertheless
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, I hold the view that most
people
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 leave their house looking for better opportunities for work or to study what they want to achieve their dream job.
However
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, the consequences of
this
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 event can be bad, but
also
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 good. On the
one
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 hand, the worst side is that, if a part of a population moves altogether, the place in which
this
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 person chooses to establish could become overcrowded, so there could be problems with giving them a house.
Furthermore
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, if
one
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 person grows up in a contest of violence, it could take with it the attitudes of the contest in which he lives, so
this
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 could cause problems for the country that hosts him.
On the other hand
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, I
also
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 think that immigration can bring a new mentality, because it is a meeting of different cultures, and in my opinion, it could be a good thing, because if there is something different, it doesn’t mean
that is
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 wrong, but everyone can learn something from the other cultures.

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Structure
Expand on your introduction by including a more specific thesis statement outlining the main reasons and consequences you will discuss. This will provide a clearer roadmap for your essay.
Content
Try to include more examples or data to support your points about immigration. While your examples are relevant, adding more detail or statistics could enhance your argument and make it more compelling.
Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. For example, you can use 'Additionally', 'In contrast', or 'Consequently' to help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Content
You clearly identified some important reasons for immigration, such as war and economic opportunities, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Content
Your discussion of both the positive and negative consequences of immigration shows a balanced perspective, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic migration
  • Asylum seeker
  • Diaspora
  • Expatriate
  • Refugee status
  • Work permit/visa
  • Demographic shift
  • Naturalization
  • Xenophobia
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Multiculturalism
  • Social cohesion
  • Immigration policies
  • Border control
  • Undocumented immigrants
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